The absolute must-have talisman is the pit-bull dog, this must be taken out in public with no leash to show how hard you are…. The Bermondsey male chav will be easily distinguished when you are walking down the street, for a start he won’t be walking but performing some ridiculous strut from Monty Pythons ministry of silly walks whilst waving his jewellry clad arms around like a f*****g stoned monkey.
The chav female will usually be wearing a tracksuit and holding an extra large pushchair with several chav babies inside. She will usually have her greasy/laquered hair tied back and very large earrings.
there are several places in Bermondsey that are currently under occupation by these characters, One such place is Southwark Park, a beautiful serene park which has been spoiled by the presence of the chav. The most chavtastic place though is a shopping centre called ‘Surrey Quays’, this place is home to the under 25’s only, although the occasional older chav can be spotted. this place has the most sports shops per square mile in the country and is to be avoided especially on a Saturday. One of my favourite hobbies is counting pitbulls, I usually spot at least half a dozen a day, I thought these animals were all destroyed but Bermondsey seems to be a special nature reserve where the rights of the killer dog have been preserved.
I’m moving away in a month but you cannot escape the chav, I moved to Bermondsey from Cardiff which is also crawling with chavs of a different nature, Cardiff is home to the ‘mulletted’ chav who can often be seen sporting a mullet hairstyle coupled with a pink sports t shirt. I’m moving to Sutton(surrey) which is near Croydon – the chav capital of the country, I intend to become an expert in Chavology and write a thesis on the pointlessness of existence ……