Bermondsey – Home of Jade Goody.

I can’t believe I’m the first one to add this place. JADE. GOODY. Two words guaranteed to strike fear into the heart of any sane person. She lived down the goddamn road from me. She went to my bloody secondary school. Do you know, since Big Brother, how many ***** have popped up claiming that they’re her second cousin once removed? Or that they had a fight with her best mate’s next door neighbour or some bloody ****. And they announce it with such pride!!! I ask you.

**** is the norm in Bermondsey. For males and females up to the age of THIRTY or so. Although it’s not uncommon for blokes in their fifties to be walking around topless, sporting a gigantic gold medallion and burberry cap. It’s bloody horrible here. There are so few normal people here that it’s inevitable that the small number of decent folk here are forced to associate with ***** and become their (*shudder*) “m8”, because otherwise you’ll get asked day and night if you’re “one of those gofficks” and pelted with stones.

As for where they hang out? Anywhere and everywhere. Jamaica Road, The Albion and Southwark Park Road are among their favourite haunts, but the ***** OWN Bermondsey and therefore roam all over the land, pissing up walls to claim their ****** wigga territory.


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