Belper is a handful of miles above derby, but just as notorious for its C***s. Known as “Brown Town” for its off-the-scale drug problem, the local name for C***s here is Townies. They plague the town centre in droves, adorning their sports clothes with their ridiculously big football socks tucking over their adidas trousers. Baseball caps are also a necessity here, as is hanging out in the memorial gardens in the centre of town, drinking Tenants Super/White Lightning and littering the gardens with HIV infected needles. The Townies here also like to hang out on the market place, buying kebabs from the various take-aways with the money they just got from selling an OXO cube to an unsuspecting young C**v.
Belper School is allegedly the breeding ground for the Townies in Belper, the young ones are packed off to school by their mums just finishing off their G.C.S.E’s or perhaps even trying to take a course in Health and Social Care at the sixth form. It is always novel to see the various C**v’s filing out of school, whilst making pretty patterns on the concrete with their spit, and perhaps racing to the Parks Estate bus so that they can get to the back five seats! Exciting!