Belmsford is quite unique in that almost all of its population are wheelchair-bound. There are two main gangs; the ***** Hermans from Sidney Towers and the far superior Freds from the top estate.

The Hermans are very immature and can normally be spotted ******* around with their dads outside the men’s public toilets. The boys favourite pastime is racing through the poof-way arch in their chaved up spaz chariots, trailing dead dogs on pieces of string. The Herman girls like to hang out in Cheddar Road with their mums.

Freds can normally be found getting pissed in the park by following their trail of ‘tags’, easily identified by the giant speednob motif.

New visitors to Belmsford often find themselves run out of town by hordes of angry mongs.

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