Bedfordshire   |    East Anglia   |  

Omg! This is the chaviest place ever! They hang out near at the cinema and bowling alley(next to pizza hut!) I also see them walking by the river and the way they walk! God they think they are so hard but they look like d*i*c*k*s! Another place is in the town center! And yes Bedford does have a poundland!

I hate the way they look aspecially girls! They tie their hair back so tight and when it’s to the side thats when they have gone way too far! The worst thing is when they wear short tops and all the flab hangs out! This may be more chavish but its better when they wear too-big sport tops.

Top 10 worst places to live in England 2018

    Bedfordshire   |    East Anglia   |  

Well what can I say about Bedford. An isolated backwards s**t hole of inbreds, who are all born “live” and die in the same place. Occasionally venturing to Milton Keynes if they havent blown all their benefits in one of the many market stalls this fair town offers.

I dont know what is more frustrating about chavs, if they think what they are wearing is good, or just the fact that they clearly have no self respect.

Shopping in Bedford is an interesting experience, with the biggest new look I have ever seen, next door to Peacocks, and numerous fast food outlets, thankfully causing early death to many of the scum who regularly frequent the establishments. I personally would like to thank McDonalds, for creating an environment suitable to lure in all the Chavs, and feed then what can only be described as poison, until they die/ get ill and claim more benefits.

In Bedford there is one place which Chavs prefer to generally stand around and do nothing in, it is called ‘Aspects’ and features, a closed down McClusky’s (yet even the Chavs were too cheap to keep the place open) a tenpin bowling alley, usually used for shelter rather than actually particpating in the game, a cinema, one of the old ones, 3 screens, no surround sound, and seats which give you a 98% chance of going home with Scabies. When the chavs get hungry, there is always “Fatty Arbuckles” large glass front window for them to press their spotty noses against, and watch the “dead posh” people eating what is loosely described as food.

If all this is not enough to keep the chavs busy, they get in their off road chavmobile and slowly race around the large unused carpark for a while, before heading into the town centre, for a night “on the town”or to generally “cruise”. The only good thing to come of the recent increase in petrol prices is the chavs reduced preference to “cruise” around trying to pull skanky chav-ettes.

I feel it would be wrong not to mention the car parks. If you find somewhere to park your car which you feel leaves you a good chance of keeping at least 3 of your wheels, you must then avoid the cruising chavs, and make your way out of the carpark, through the stair well/ lift. This is always a tricky decision. On one hand the lift is not home to the majority of Bedford, unlike the stairwells, but the size of the lift means that by the time Shazza, and her 8 small snotty children, her current boyfriend, and their fags are in the lift, you are left no chioce but to make physical contact with at least one member of the ‘family’, and inevitably be on a course of antibiotics for the next week. It is advisable to try not to breath while in the lift, although due to the fact they have not been updated since 1974, you may pass out before the lift reaches ground floor.The other option is the stair wells, I always feel I am walking into someones private home when doing this, and they tend to stare as if to say “what the f**k are you doing here without your uniform fake burberry hat, scarf and jacket!”. The smell is overwhelmingly like a toilet which hasnt been flushed in 20 years, thats because it is. It is advisable not to touch the rails, walls and if possible the floor if you wish to avoid cholera.

If you have not died of some disease by the time you have stepped outside the car park, the shocking array of poundlands, superdrug and other charity bins will certainly make you question why you have risked your health to be here.

Speaking in public is not advised as any accent which doesnt make you sound like you are ripping your throat to shreds is so overwhelming that a chav cannot focus on the content anyway. and you are likely to be mugged as you have been identified as “dead posh” and not part of the collective.

What more can be said apart from, Bedford is a breeding pit for chav, to the extent that chav is the norm. However in its defence it is not responsible for the nationwide outbreak of this condition, as Bedford scum, do not appear to understand the concept of a larger world outside of this s**t hole town. Thankfully they are contained.

Top 10 worst places to live in England 2018

    Bedfordshire   |    East Anglia   |  

Well here we go, to compliment my earlier reports on the towns of Huntingdon and St Neots I give you the last of the 3 dumps in the ‘Chavtown Triangle’……..Bedford – and believe me, i’ve saved the worst ’till last…

Let’s start with the town centre and that long time favourite haunt of the local chav – The Harpur Centre.

The Harpur Centre is Bedfords main covered shopping centre, in fact, so important is it to the well being of the town that it sports not only the cheapest looking linen shop on the planet but also Bedford’s premier branch of Argos with the biggest Elizabeth Duke counter you could ever wish to see. It is here where an eager chav-spotter can witness that symbolic guesture of a Chav couples love – the giving and recieving of some bling. Currently popular here are large gold bracelets that closely resemble gold-painted doughunts, how many can you spot on each arm?


Should a chav become tired carrying all this weight around with them they can take a break and linger around the centrepiece of the Harpur, ‘The Spiral’. This is nothing more than a spiral walkway leading down to the car park but is a popular hangout for the resting chav, no doubt partly due to the fact that there is a stall nearby where they can stock up on Jellybeans…

Moving on out of the Harpur Centre, past the Flowerpot chavs who seem permanantly fixed to the walls surrounding the flowerbeds and across Harpur Square one will soon arrive at Wilkinsons, for every chavs shopping needs, followed by a McDonalds and a large Amusement arcade which , simply by turning on the neon lights, can have chavs flapping outside the windows like moths in an instant.

Move on to the edge of Bedford and the large, grey shadow of the Interchange Retail Park looms against the backdrop of Stewartby brickworks. The Interchange seems to have been designed with the chav solely in mind as they took the time to provide another McDonalds and a giant Matalan in their plans. Here one can also see the heights to which a chavs career prospects can rise to in Bedford, they can become part of the vast army of ‘car cleaners’ who loiter at one end of the car park ready to scrub your car with a grit impregnated sponge for as much money as they can coax out of you.

Anyway, should you be searching for a chav in it’s natural habitat then you can do no better than visit the areas of Putnoe and Queens Park (which has far more in common with its London counterpart than just it’s name), this is of course assuming you can get down the narrow, Nova-lined and chavling-packed roads in anything wider than a pushbike, and even then it’ll probably get it’s tyres pilfered and turned into a spoiler for a D-reg VW Golf…

Anyway, I hope that my reports on Huntingdon, St Neots and now Bedford have convinced you that you will never want to come here optionally, unless of course you are a very brave Chav-spotter…

Top 10 worst places to live in England 2018

    Bedfordshire   |    East Anglia   |  

Bedford, a sleepy riverside town located about 60 miles north of Chav Capital (London). Bedford can be considered (and is by those non chavs who have to live there) Chav Central.

Such great haunts are the Interchange car park, where the local army of Nova driving, White Lightning drinkin Spitter Chavs can be found after the shops have closed. Other local places include down by the river, where the local duck population have been grossly abused by successive generations of Chavs who have been passing their customs and ways down from generation to generation.

Almost all of the population of Bedford rose up and petitioned a few years back to have these undesirables moved out. This was actioned by the local council and a small place was born called Wellingborough… but that is a different story. Shame nothing can be done about the Pikies….

Top 10 worst places to live in England 2018