Bath is a small city in Somerset that tourists from all over the world visit to see the Roman Baths and Georgian Architecture. They are lucky because they only visit for a day – some people have to live here, which I did for 7 years. It is full of some of the most unfriendly people in England, (and that doesn’t even include the *****!) The ***** live in areas such as Twerton and Whiteway, where riding stolen mopeds and motorbikes is popular.
Another favourite pastime is beating strangers up with baseball bats or iron bars. They like to congregate in Kingsmead Square where they have fights with ***** from towns like Trowbridge and Chippenham. The older ***** go to the Lamb and Lion where cheap booze and even cheaper 16 year old ********* are on offer. They have the worst Somerset accent which is chavved to the max and say things like “where’s that to?” and “10 lamburt butla me luvva!”. For an after hours fight they go to XL’s nightclub (formely Cadillacs).
The shopping centre is being redeveloped but there is still a Sports World and more mobile phone shops than in Japan. There’s a McDonalds which always seems to have it’s windows smashed in. A guy was attacked outside here a few years ago by a gang of ***** who he accidentally made eye contact with. They also used a stun gun on him. Not all ***** in Bath can afford these and can’t even afford pizza. This explains why a man was attacked in the Homebase car park and had his jaw broken. The 2 ***** stole his takeaway pizza! Bath also has dozens of homeless street drinkers and druggies and the most aggressive beggars in the Western world – “spare 12p for tha night shelter mate?”. Also, more people in Bath support Man Utd, Chelsea and Arsenal than anywhere else in the world – which is why Bath City FC are still non-league!
Bath – lovely for a day trip, but don’t miss the last train out of town!
Trowbridge – The Detroit of Wiltshire
Chippenham (Chip’ numb) is a dump
Chippenham – a burgeoning dystopia of morons
Trowbridge – An Unpolished Turdtown
Kingswood, Bristol: Sounds like a great place to live, isn’t!
Minehead, Grockels come to here to paddle their hairy toes in the sea
Yeovil, neatly situated in the **** end of nowhere
Frome: Trapped in Vegan Hell
Bridgwater: like an open cesspit, the thickest sh*ts tend to accumulate here