Written by Anonymous. Posted in Uncategorised

Loads of scrotes in and around the area, in particular around the old Bottle & Basket. If you’re lucky, you might get christened with someone throwing stones at you as you cycle past.

Usual chav attire – Nickelson. Hackett. Highest double-buggy count is up in Roundshaw which somehow gets classed as Wallington.

Vocabulary fairly limited and never exceeds comprehensive school standards. Anyone who went to a grammar school is automatically labelled as gay.

Cigs of choice: normally Lambert & Butler but will do with Mayfair if pushed.

Local pub ‘The Whispering Moon’ which opened 10-15 years ago seems to pick up the ex-trade from the Merry-Go-Round up on the (yes, you’ve guessed it) the Roundshaw estate.

I thought they knocked all of Roundshaw down recently but then someone disappointed me by building houses there again. Still a definite improvement over the legendary Instone Close, scene of many a burnt-out car.

Trillions of nobsta chavs riding around on pissy little 50cc mopeds. Seems to be the transport of choice, and required driving skills include w*****g the nuts off the thing to get it to do all of 28mph. Stunning. Complemented perfectly by banshee wail 10,000rpm engine noise and a complete lack of signalling as is de rigeur.

badbwoy motors seen recently include the usual industrial chimney exhaust system and comprise Novas, and a particularly hideous Fiat Cinquecento for example. Subaru Imprezas have been taken over by the local cons.


Top 10 worst places to live in England 2018