In the early 1960s some clever p***k in the council discovered there was a building substance called concrete and devoted over 20 minutes convincing the other half dead councillors to rebuild Aylesbury with it, and in an act that rivals Vesuvius’s covering of Pompeii in lava, Aylesbury was covered in Grey.
Any building that had previously given the town its market town look was looked on with derision; whole streets vanished to make way for a new shopping area called Friars Square and a new County Office called a ‘f*cking eyesore’, that was [allegedly] designed by someone who copied his 40 year old in-bred one eyed son’s construction of a penis made out of the Lego bricks he been chewing since birth.
To accommodate the hoards of builders, labourers and whores that rushed to the destruction, estates sprang up all around the town centre; copying early the early success of Southcourt, there soon followed Quarrendon, Quarrendon 2 (the revenge), Elmhurst, Prebendal Farm, Mandeville, Walton Court, Quarrendon 3 (this time its personal) Hawslade Farm, and Buckingham Park, (my apologies to any ch4v having this read to them, if I missed out your particular sh*tsink estate) all full to the rafters with nasty little miscreants who spend their dole money overnight on drugs then spend 13 days in the gainful employment of burglary.
Aylesbury boasts several pubs all of which are sh*te! In the day they are full of fat women with other family members, drinking strong lagers while their brats run riot around the pub screaming and pissing everyone except for the inept barstaff who have learned to shut down during working hours.
During the evening, the skinny drug addled husbands/boyfriends/pimps come in trying to sell the wares they have worked so hard to procure, and swap stories of how they terrorised some old lady in her own home as they plundered her meagre possessions (again) to howls of delight and laughter.
One of those terrorists who murdered people during the London bombings came from Aylesbury, pity he didn’t let the thing off before he left.
Aylesbury: find yourself in a traffic jam
Tring: So what has changed?
Princes Risborough, if you find yourself there just keep driving
Owlsmoor, Sandhurst: enter at your peril!
High Wycombe, you would expect it to be a pleasant, it’s far from it
Chesham! More Like Mayhem!
Totteridge: Where every Tesco comes with a bunch of ********!
High Wycombe, hearing the words reminds of the smells of piss & ganja
Loudwater – “the edge of High Wycombe, not actually High Wycombe, OK???”