Altrincham, once a blissful place where everyone lived in harmony until….the c**v revolution. it has been questioned when this quaint town a few miles from Manchester became over run with ‘chavos’ and ‘chaddettes’ now u can’t go anywhere without seeing a chavvy git or hearing ‘eee yaaa bust us a cig!’ the main places they hang out are our local argos and the bus station. the bus station smells of a mix of piss and weed, to stop it the bus station now plays clasical music over the speakers, but it doesnt seem to work, and the argos always has the police there coz someone has robbed a radiator or a tacky gold ring. unfortunately these C**v populated areas are now out of bounds from the ‘normal’ towns people of ALtrincham. It is easy to spot a c**v location…look for puddles of spit, empty bottles of white lightening and B&H cigerette packets. at night it is even worse! you cant get out of a pub without getting in a fight.
If you are ever thinking of coming to altrincham let this be a warning to you…C**v’s are easily identifiable with their TN hats, rockpooorrrt and stone island coats, they hunt in packs and if you even look at them their mental illnesses that cause them to dress so disgracefully re-emerges and they will chase you all the way to Argos where then they will break in and forget bout you. Always remember next time you see a c**v, stop, look and listen…then laugh under your breath and continue with your journey.