Written by Anonymous. Posted in United Kingdom

As I work for the council I get to visit some really scummy chav holes and kill their pest infestations (not them how ever much i ask my boss). So anyway I’m sitting back at HQ with a cup of tea and a danish and we get a phonecall from big Ed saying he needs another chemical sprayer so I got into my van and drove to this flat. Now I’ve seen infestations of rats but this chav hole was teaming with them there was a cupboard and mummy chav was blabbering at me in the wost mockney accent I’ve ever heard about Daimien and Kylie throwing them food and how she should get a new flat and how big Ed was useless and that she was going to report him. Now after listening to all this nonsense I was quite tempted to drive off and let the rats finish the chavs off but I quite like my job so out comes the chemicals and pellets and my suit and mask. I laid down the pellets filled the holes and told mummy chav I was finished next thing I know Little Damien and Kylie are throwing some unfortunate dead rats at each other and mummy chav is hitting them with her broom with the words don’t do that you’ll get sick and die (I felt like saying we can only hope but bit my tongue). On my way out mummy chav gave me another earbashing and asked me to report her flat to housing last I heard she got a nice masonette and a pay off from the council. Makes you wonder don’t it.

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