Living in Aldershot
Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Hampshire, South East, United Kingdom

I just thought I’d like to share with you all the misery, the deluge of filth, the vast wart on the backside of humanity that is Aldershot or if you’ve ever had the misery of living there, the pet name of Aldershite.

Originally an army town with civilian shopping, breeding, and living areas.  This town over the last 20 years, has gone from prosperous, to nice place to live, to OK and right through to “Oh my god, taxi, drive, drive man, FOR GODS SAKE DRIVE!!!”.

The army have mostly left, leaving the illegitimate inbred, four finger, cretinous, tattoo sporting, jogging bottom wearing, rollup smoking, special brew drinking pond life, that even God would be amazed
at.

To be a virgin means you’ve only slept with 4 blokes, at the same time.  To be a success you must be able to roll your own spliff in less than 20 seconds, and have been addicted to a class A at least twice in your life.

Unfortunately for me, I was born there. I’ve grown up with them, watched them breed in back alleys, and then spit forth their mutant offspring, some of which seem to have been horribly disfigured by acid
on their face. But no, that’s just the fact his mother really is his cousin, and his dad is his brother.

My reprieve came when I moved over the border into Farnham, Surrey. A fact that now makes me an outsider.

Aldershot I salute your burberry, rockport, tommy hilfiger, kappa, gold hoop earringed, permed, mulleted, fake tanned, Corsa driving, p***y loving shiteness. May God strike down vengence and furious anger when
he doth see what he created.

PS God forbid you ever have to have a funeral or wedding there, last one I drove past, there was a mobile police control centre, 4 paddy wagons, 2 dog sections, and a coach load of cops in riot gear. God
bless you all…