Aberystwyth, a thriving student town, its friendly, attractive and also the biggest town around, you dont find it on any road signs or maps so its like a little secret kingdom away from the s**m of modern life, it should be c**v free…..in theory.
But NO! During the winter you can gaurentee everyone you see is a student or just a friendly local but in the summer WHAM! the s**m turn up in droves, the streets and beaches a sea of kappa-slappers, burberry, people with stupidly small heads that doesnt even hide their lack of a functioning brain; fat people sweating in there nike atire and wearing so much fake gold its not even funny!
But even when they p off home and night falls, from nowhere apears a fleet of novas, corsa and cars I dont even recognise-all in varoius stages of being converted into batmobiles with unnecesarly big plastic bumpers and the like…i know its a bit rural out of town but really they dont need a bloody cow catcher that is the wrong colour and doesnt fit dumped onto the from of a perfectly s**t car before they started spending all there hard-stolen money on.
They must all be deaf or something because they subject everyone for miles aroung to there crappy hip-hop and ‘im gunna shoot my bitch up’ music. Cheers guys, i wouldnt mind so much if they didnt have this inate need to drive round and round and round Aberystwyth, If your lost, ask someone!
And then, insult to injury they invade all the clubs and pubs at the weekend where they swear, look for fights and drink wife-beater stella, and walk round and round and round, they just cant help themselves! Then they go steal a kebab and smack there burberry-bitch up to try and make her a little more apealing to the eye.
C***s, please, your cars are rubbish slow piles of junk, your ugly, your music is rubbish, your gold is tacky and worst of all your deodorent is worse that your smell of sweat!
But just one question, how do you find Aberystwyth, we wanted to seal ourselves away from you!?