Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in United Kingdom, West Midlands, Worcestershire

Worcester is a chav haven, you cannot turn around without there being a chav in your face asking for money or threatening to kill you. Although many look like they live on the streets they seem to have little parts of Worcester dedicated to them and their families. Tolladine, St Johns, Warndon, Ronkswood and Dines Green are places which strike fear into the hearts of the hardiest of all skaters. These areas harvest the most scummy of all the chavs, townies, pikies, kev’s, tramp’s or what ever you want to call them, that you could possibly meet.
The fast food district, i.e. chavland, consists of what seems to be their fortress, Mac Donald’s or Macky D’s as they like to call it! This is where they spend their time when not producing more scum.
Worcester is infested. When will the day of the chav end!!!!!


Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in United Kingdom, West Midlands, Worcestershire

Welcome to Worcester, the ancient Chav capital of the Chav infested West Midlands. From the derelict and depressing Angel Place in the centre of town, to the sprawling Council Chav-Estates of Warndon, Brickfields, Ronkswood and Dines Green, this once proud old city now stands as a monument to all that Chav culture embraces.

A visitor arriving at Worcester’s Foregate Street railway station, and heading off in search of cultural stimulation, would soon be in no doubt that this city is now a wilderness of drab mediocrity surpassing even such nearby delights as Droitwich, Redditch, Kidderminster and the Chav utopia of Birmingham.

Right at the centre of Worcester you will find the inevitable Chav temple of McDonalds, and within yards of this are to be found other such culinary sewers as fried chicken outlets, burger bars, kebab houses and baked potato vans.

During the evening and weekend the hordes of Worcester Chavs and Chavettes will congregate around these stinking emporiums of crap stuffing their spotty faces to their hearts content, leaving behind them a mass of rubbish for the pigeons and rats to gorge on.

In the evening however, Worcester comes into it’s own as a Chav hot spot of epic proportions. Chav boozers proliferate in Worcester town centre, The Courtyard, RSVP, Bushwackers and Chicago Rock to name but a few. Chicago Rock in particular seems to attract the true hardcore Chav. Situated in an ancient medieval side street it really is a sight to behold to observe the Chavs piling out at midnight, fighting and spewing their way down New Street towards the taxi rank by McDonalds.

For those still standing Worcester has an array of high class Chav night spots, including Tramps, La Mango and Images, although those over 19 years old might feel a little out of place.

Yes, Worcester really has succumbed to Chav rule, a true intellectual and cultural wilderness to match any in England.


Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in United Kingdom, West Midlands, Worcestershire

If, and probably when, England becomes a chav nation, and King Jason and Queen Chelsea are sitting on a burberry throne, the capital will surely move to Worcester. The city centre contains everything for your modern-day chav. Argos, Index, McDonalds… The main hangout is indeed the latter, where smoking fags, the cheaper the better, spitting and hurling abuse is de rigeur. Over in Warndon, chavs will race their novas in an altogether-less-entertaining version of Formula 1, on the local trading estate. Hobbies include, but are not limited to, stealing economy lemonade from Sainsbury´s, smashing bus-stops and setting fire to things. Baby chavs will soon go to ´Elgar High School´ where they will be tutored in the above skills which are necessary to become a fully-fledged chav. Certain bus routes have been cancelled at night because of paving slabs being launched by some local scum, drunk on a capfull of white lightning, whilst one bus was actually stolen. Marvellous. The local cinemas are also a mecca for these imbeciles. Sitting at the back of the Odeon hurling popcorn, belching and laughing whilst discussing the very important issue of ´wot bird ´as the be´er knockers´ (TRANSLATION) ´which actress has the more impressive busom´ really makes the cinema experience in Worcester a sight to behold. Surprisingly none of this will appear in the Worcester Tourist Board´s next pamphlet for visitors. Strange.