Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in United Kingdom, West Midlands, West Midlands

Ah, wolverhampton, the haven of the wonderful football club, wolverhampton wanderers, or otherwise known as wolves. There is another name that comes to mind for this wonderdful piece of midland engineering, and that is its the biggest f*****g joke football team and club in the entire country, and the fact that its just wolves.

But don’t get distracted by the talk about football now, i mean you are here to marvel and diascover the wonders of yet another chav haven, right here in wolverhampton. So have no fear, for I shall begin to give you the low down (one of many daft experssions your bound to find here).

I’m currently studying at the university of wolverhampton at the moment, and my god, did i make mistake coming here. It has everything you wished was never here, the football stadium, the extra big, mother fucker sized asda by the stadium, and then the university.

The chavs here are a little different to their counterparts in the likes of bloxwich (recommended reading), because basically these chavs out here are out all the time altogether. I mean, they are scattered all over the place, like f*****g rats. They are virtim. I wouldn’t know where to start to find a chav hotspot, but shall take the liberty of giving you a couple.

The bus station is my first example, where you can witness the wonderous place with its scatter of litter (mostly chavs mcdonalds wrappings), the buses that come and go (again mostly filled with chavs), and then when you see them departing the station to go to the train station over the bridge, there you’ll find the mother fucker again doing the exact same s**t.

The second place your bound to find them is when you are on the way across town, sorry, let me repharse that, the city, gotta get it right haven’t we. Thats what makes more chavs come, cause its a city. Anyway, your bound to find them when your making away across the city to one of the shopping centres, i can’t remember the actual name, but arguments sake we’ll call it the chav access shop haven, otherwise know as CASH. There on the entry points your bound to find them asking for a cash entry, because they can’t afford a bus ride home, or otherwise known as getting money for their next tin of carling or packet of soverigns. So, top joint to go to, recommend you go there, because you’ll do plenty of spending but you won’t have anything to show for it, great ain’t it?

Anyhow, i’ll let you be judge of this great city, and hopefully you’ll remember to bring your car, so you don’t have the pleasure of going on a chav express bus (recommended reading again, title town is chav haven walsall).

Hope you enjoyed your time reading this. Thank YOU.


Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in United Kingdom, West Midlands, West Midlands

I just had to add something to what has already been written about this Black Country jewel after living there for five years….

Apparently, Wolverhampton is now a city, although St. Peter’s Church, a thousand year old building there, is in better nick than the tired old Mander Centre wear the Mecca for Chav “fashion Victims” called SoccerSports is sited. Suitably, it is situated in the basement where you can find loads of taste challenged individuals buying not only Reebok and Nike, but sadly Diadora and Donnay as well.( and we used to laugh at kids who wore St. Michael’s underwear!!!) The Wolves Supporter’s shop above ground is always empty.

The best time to spot chavs is in the evening around the usual MacPubs in the town centre…The Hogshead, Litten Tree, Yates etc. Also try Heroes Sports bar when a match is on, you can tell when Wolves are playing cos everyone is in gold and black rather than the obligatory Man U strip.

Best time to avoid them is any match day after the game and also ten o’clock most evenings as everybody appears s**t faced. I still miss the place though.