If Margate is a spot on England’s ****, Westgate-on-sea is the pus

Living in Westgate-on-sea, Kent

Margate is a nasty little ******** on the tip of Kent, like a fat spot on England’s ****. As if Margate is not bad enough, it’s connected to loads of surrounding towns that are just as bad. So imagine a city the size of Birmingham with nothing except council estates, a theme park (dreamland) and a few polluted beaches. Westgate is one of Margate City’s suburbs…

Westgate used to be a nice quiet little town that people retired to from London, but its recently been invaded by *****, yes, recently. When a skate park was built to the delight of local goths and skaters, an army of 16 year old wannabe gangsters turned up and tried to burn it down (they would have succeeded if they knew more about pyrotechnics than spraying lynx on it). Bear in mind this is only a small suburb, but now every corner has little **** kids (5-16 yrs old) ******* about asking you to buy them **** or for a fight. The goths kids i used to talk to, have started wearing caps and gold since i went to uni, even the old retired folk are getting lairy.

The weird thing is, where do the ***** my age (21) get the cash to kit up their cars, and there are nice cars about, in an area where the average wage is about £10,000 (no ****!). Margate is a weird little town, in a weird little area called Thanet (planet fanet to the locals). The ***** have codes like wearing their hats at different angles to show how hard they are, or if they’re Ramsgate crew, or Margate boys etc. It’s funny as anything until they start on you as they want ‘practice’. I ain’t saying anything about that, because for some reason kids mutate if they choose to be ***** and they’re all bigger but younger than me.

How grim is your Postcode?

Margate is 10 years behind everywhere else and adult ***** are only now popping up. People have dodge viper stripes on Corsa’s, so visit Margate like a museum to see how chavism started. Westgate on sea is more of a zoo, where you can laugh at the little ******** while they stroll about scratching their arses and eating off the floor. Don’t let them climb on your car though, they’ll have the wipers.