There are numerous articles on this site describing the severe chav related disorders of a town called Croydon. This is a satanic chavhole which has always been so ever since some twat decided to try and develop it into a massive city in the 60’s – that experiment failed. Croydon is not nice to be in, its shopping centres are s**t, there are so many vagrants on the streets and the plague is spreading to all of the suburbs around.
A northwestern suburb of Croydon known as Thornton Heath (or as the locals call it, “Fouwrtneeeeef”), is one such example. Despite the houses in the residential areas being very posh, it still remains a s**thole and it’s all Croydon’s fault. Don’t get me wrong – it USED to be lovely. Let me explain to you what’s happened here.
1940. A town called Croydon exists where people live and occasionally shop. Most people work in London.
1960. Some twat decides that people need another place to work, so starts randomly building skyscrapers in Croydon
1980. By now, Croydon has developed into Britain’s gun crime capital. The surrounding areas have developed, with bollocks hi rise flats covering all the boundaries, making Croydon a city, and a s**t one at that. Places like Thornton Heath are now perfect for the fake chavs with rich parents to hide in, while the females undergo fleeting companionships with the gangs of chavs and the males spend all their time sitting in mcdonalds laughing at anyone not wearing fake burberry.
Anyway, Thornton Heath. It’s really just a big road and a load of posh houses inhabited mostly by people who undoubtedly abuse them; I assume the late victorians who built them are probably turning in their graves.
Starting from the “Clocktower”, which is basically a large grandfather clock in the middle of the road which ceased to tell the correct time a long while ago, you notice houses to the north, houses to the west, shops to the east and tescos to the south. A horrible experience is Tesco’s in Thornton Heath, not only because of the legions of chavs standing outside it but doing nothing, but because of the people that go inside it.
Seriously, I do feel sorry for the children. Sitting in a shopping trolley pushed by ridiculously obese women with the most cringeworthy accents, full of bottles of coke and burgers and other food which complies to the common chav rule of “if it doesnt go in the microwave, were not cooking it.”
And the way they shout at their children and hit them for the stupidest reasons is sickening. It really reminds you how the next generation of adults is going to turn out, and what good it’s not going to do for our country.
Anyway, beyond tescos is the train station then more houses. I seriously advise that you stay away from the train station unless you’re planning on catching a train back to London and back to safety, and if you are doing that, make sure you arrive just in the nick of time to reduce any lingering around. It’s seriously dangerous. Not only is it full of chavs, but it’s quite easy to commit suicide there, with the fast trains to brighton and sussex, aswell as the gatwick express, screaming past platforms 3 and 4. The charming decor of the place may persuade you that visiting the tracks is a good idea.
Anyway, a quick guide to the high street. Go the opposite way from Tescos at the clocktower, this is what you get:
The leisure centre, the only reason anyone would really visit Thornton Heath. I suggest you go there late at night though, when all the chavs are busy wreaking fake havoc in Croydon it will be sound as a bell.
Discount shops, discount shops and more discount shops. Doesn’t croydon have enough tacky discount shops? How on earth do these businesses stay open? I’d like to know how these people would react on Oxford Street, which I know is a bloody cliché place to shop, but its, hmmmmm… just a bit more upmarket than Thornton Heath high street.
Weird restaurants. If I remember rightly, it’s home to a “Starburger”, which also props up in the vivacious south croydon suburban town of Caterham. “Jerk Chicken” is another sight for all tourists to take in. There are no REAL s**tty fast food restaurants anywhere, none at all. Thornton Heath is so awful it cant even afford to have a McDonalds, Burger King or KFC.. yes, thats right.
The only other thing worth staring at is this newsagents down the end of the road which has a card in the door saying something along the lines of “International Phone Cards: £3 each, 3 for £10″.
Just get out of this fake, fake, fake s**thole now!!