The Boldons make you want to chuck yourself in front of the No. 9 bus

Living in Boldon, Tyne and Wear

You’d think having between 10-20 pubs from one metro too the other, an abundance of corner shops and hair dressers, Asda, McDonalds, Frankie and Bennies, Pizza Hut, Nandos that attracts so many **** boys it just not fair, Cineworld that brings the rest of south Tyneside too you. Which you just can not be arsed to deal with because they’re annoying as ****, and the very classy heron foods, for our teen mums that like to go shopping in their jarmies. That Boldon wouldn’t be such a bad place, well how ******* wrong you are.

Boldon is the definition of “I can’t not wait to get the **** out of here”. If you have to live in Boldon I’m so sorry because the rest of south Tyneside seem to unanimously hate us, with gangs of jumped up ***** bouncing off at brockley whins metro threatening ever passer by and the BMD (Boldon mad dogs). With 13 year olds bricking each other’s Windows and smashing up parks and bus stops it’s just fantastic our youth are so active.

God forbid if you think Boldon is one place, God no, tell those from East Boldon they’re the same as those from the Colliery and they might have a heart attack, they can’t be classed as the same civilisation as the colliery lot, saying that I don’t blame them.

How grim is your Postcode?

Living on the colliery is like living in a giant mental health hospital. F**kers getting kidnapped and chucked out of the back of vans, 12 year olds begging you to “go in the shop for a litre of Frosties and 20 JPS” makes you want to chuck yourself in front of the number 9.

Boldons night life mind that’s a different breed all together, Christ “fancy a pint in the shack?” You either sit with the grandmas playing bingo or venture to ward 9 where every 18 and above year old is crammed into a room with a juke box hidden away from the rest of society. You could always go to the flat tops mind where every underage kid used to go to get served until they started asking for ID, good job too… Think I would have shot myself if I had too listen too one more lass cry because her lad “won’t text her back”.

According to the older generation is “youths” have destroyed Boldon, but ***** sake have you seen the state of the school now? Honestly if you come out of that place without a mental disorder you have done so ******* well for yourself, getting a C is a ******* joyous occasion really. The teachers though (allegedly) sending photos to students, throwing them at walls, spitting on them, and students stabbing each other with forks, making each other pass out because “it’s mint like”, honestly I think the classes of Derwint (bottom set) had more students in than anything else, the school got stripped of its “specialist sports college” title after a year and if that doesn’t say something I don’t know what will.
Due to the school 70% of the population are on the dole, and that takes the ******* piss because who wants to trek all the way to Jarrow?.

Good luck getting a metro if you live on the colliery it’s a 30 minute walk to either metro, I mean it could take 15 to Brockleywhins if you’re willing to walk through the burn and risked being jumped, mugged or encounter numerous ‘off map’ (drug filled) teenagers that’ll beg you for 20p while licking their chin to get the saliva off, horrendous.

Something goes wrong? Aye phone the police get PC ***** down who’ll tell you “I’ll be back in touch as soon as I can” to never get a phone call again. Just good lucky really. If you’re not born in Boldon I don’t understand why the **** you’d want to move here looking at the place makes you depressed and the people are cracked up too ****… Hey at least you can get vodka cheap, down out the sorrows every night. BMD