I grew up in Hoddesdon and as a child and teenager it was alright. Close to woodland and countryside, some reasonable pubs, safe town. I moved away for a few years before returning in 2007 and initially was pleased to be returning to the town of my youth. The novelty quickly wore off. It took […]
Peterborough. Well, what can I say about it? Like many other places in Britain it has very little left now that is culturally significant. St John’s church, the Cathedral and the Bull Hotel. Nothing else. The heart of this small (but nice) little place was ripped out in the 60’s and 70’s in the name […]
Read More… from Peterborough: oh for a nuclear bomb (or a really big bulldozer)
I’ve lived in Bishop’s Stortford for the past seven years and the best words I can think of to describe the experience are “more frustrating than a spoon with a hole in it”. The thing is, it could be a perfectly nice town with just a bit of care and thought. It certainly looks nice […]
Read More… from Bishop’s Stortford – The Planner’s Dream Goes Wrong
I like to think I’m a fairly hardened sort of person towards ugliness but I was not prepared for Harlow. I spent the early parts of my life in such, shall we say less than aesthetically pleasing, places as Middlesbrough, Bradford, Stoke-on-Trent and pre-gentrification Hackney. About five years, ago, I started a new job in […]
Once upon a time, a celebrity was someone who has become famous for being exceptional at something, be it music, sport or film. Many of those who became a celebrity honed their craft at Borehamwood’s famous Elstree Studios. Today, a celebrity is anyone prepared to get their private parts out on television, preferably while being […]
Driving through Watton you’d think it’s just another generic Norfolkian Market Town, but to those who are unfortunate enough to end up moving here (especially when you have no choice in the matter) will end up quickly learning that is in fact the most backwards, xenophobic and boring piece of s**t “town” in Norfolk. The […]
You may be thinking of coming to Clacton, think again, Clacton is absolute s***. It’s filled with horrible little kids who think they are the best, they break shop windows, start fights and cause havoc to everyone. I don’t know where their parents are but they must be somewhere. Don’t be tricked by the pier. […]
Now I don’t know how many of you have heard of a small Essex town called halstead, because you should have, with the countless amount of crime that has grown inside it. The most exciting thing to happen in this town is a Costa opening which [allegedly] quickly got ******** with ****. This town is […]
Welcome to Garrison Estate Purfleet, home to *****, druggies and jobless layabouts. At first glance you would think it’s a lovely place to live with lots of green spaces and historical buildings, but once you walk about you soon begin to see it’s true colours. Purfleet has one school one shop and a few beaten […]
Read More… from Purfleet, Essex: home to *****, druggies and jobless layabouts
I had the dubious pleasure of being a resident of Dereham for 18 long years. In that time, Dereham went from being a bog standard market town to something akin to a rotting corpse full of apathy and yearning. The town slogan should be, “Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here”. Driving through the town […]
Read More… from Dereham – More like Drearam. Stay away if you’re not a local
Pros: Beautiful countryside, sunny, beaches, friendly-ish people (but a bit weird). That’s it. Cons: Fat, ugly, tattooed sheep (the blokes are still wearing Gold rope chains and earings, **** me, about 30 years too late, even spotted a mullet for crying out loud!). Floppy haired little ***** with scooters that seem to be everywhere, **** […]
Read More… from Felixstowe in a nutshell after a 2 week break
Been living in Felixstowe 6 weeks now having moved up from Hertfordshire. What a strange place. Don’t get me wrong, beautiful countryside and lovely beaches (some, apart from the chavy end where the Amusement Arcades are) but crikey these people are weird, i just don’t know what to make of ’em. Really friendly on the […]
Read More… from Felixstowe: it is just like the film ‘Hot Fuzz’
