Southend on Sea – ****** Pearl of the Estuary

Come to Southend on Sea, like St Tropez but with a Chicago Rock Cafe AND a Yate’s Wine Lodge!!! VISIT the exciting High Street boasting everything from JD Sports to JJB Sports to Mister Byrite! Or, if you want to blow your budget, why not visit our “posh end” where you’ll find Burtons. MARVEL at the local beauties, think an enormous gut will stop our plucky ladies from wearing a Von Dutch t-shirt, two sizes two small? Think again! And when your belly button juts out that far, why not use it as an ashtray? It will save little Kylie’s burberry pushchair. EAT, DRINK and BE MERRY – Southend boasts a wide variety of classy eating establishments from Dixie Fried Chicken to Kentucky Fried Chicken and even Kissie Fried Chicken! Yum! DANCE THE NIGHT AWAY at a local glitzy nightclub. Southend has something for every music lover – RnB AND Garage! And for that total Estuary experience why not have a friendly local lovely vomit her Bacardi Breezer over your Reebok Classics.

How grim is your Postcode?