Living in Glasgow, Scotland
Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Scotland

Named after the fish that used to swim in the river before it became too trolley strewn to support any living creature, Pollok (ignore the mis-spelling, nobody that lives here is literate enough to care) is the scheme that time forgot.

Neds here still sport the gravity defying caps, the shitty tracksuits and the whiter than Daz trainers like they used to at the turn of the millennium. Here, you will still be accosted in the street by a 50 year old who talks through his nose asking for “tenbobfurracupacoffy”.

Attempts to modernise the place have largely failed, the most popular shop in flagship supermall ‘Silverburn’ is Greggs. The queue is regularly longer than the entire shopping centre. Second most popular is TK Maxx, though most Pollokonians struggle to string their JSA far enough to afford even their cheap prices. It is estimated that at least 50% of those living in Pollok have a full wardrobe ‘taxed fae the Maxx’.