Posted by & filed under Cornwall, South West, United Kingdom.

Penzance used to be a rather pleasant, hard-working resort town whose populace comprised of hippy dope smokers, fisherfolk, artists, and local workers in the tourist shops, care homes and light industrial units. Nothing special, but a place where you could wander (bare foot if you liked) without fear of stepping in vomit, broken breezer bottles held together with the label, or chewing gum.

Then our council introduced the policy of adopting ‘problem families’ from less happy towns in exchange for cash.

Walk through Penzance now on a typical monday morning (when people should be at work!) and you’d be forgiven for thinking that the Olympics had come to town, so extensive is the human sea of branded sportswear.

Everyone is warming up for their own chosen event, whether it be the hundred meter triple pushchair fag dash or the H Samuel sponsored jewellry wearing endurance event.

I live in a direct line between the town’s premier ‘nitespot’, Club 2k, and the Treneere Housing Estate, and most nights I can’t sleep for the Chav social activity in the street below: A gang of lads pretending to ‘bum’ another lad as they grunt and shout ‘Liam’s got spunk on his trousers'; A gaggle of sexually aggressive, thong-wearing 14 year old chavettes, pissed up on Merrydown, taunting a Westie-walking pensioner about the size of his dog’s cock; And an endlessly repeated 3am Bacardi assisted Relate session that begins with the remorseful, ‘But I love ya Kim, you know that’, and finishes with Kim beaten black and blue and then screaming abuse at the police who are trying to arrest ‘My Kriss!’

The semi-precious jewel in the chav crown has to be a bar called The Sports Cue (now wittily updated S.C.U.K); here, a sub-species of muscle vested kappa-capped townies chat up gold hooped schoolgirls to the accompaniment of revving Saxo engines.

I can report from the far west that The Invasion is complete.

  • truthhurts

    PZ is a sh*thole – full of alkies, smackheads, crackheads, coke heads, and an array of empty heads, smoking, drinking, and sniffing anything they think will get them high.
    It’s common knowledge down here that PZ is the place to avoid, because it’s the last stop on the railway line for all those city junkies wanting to escape it all – only to be met on the platform by the local dealers.
    Nobody in their right mind would chose to live in PZ now – unless they had a penchant for the various ‘highs’ available.
    Those who think the place has improved must’ve struck it lucky with their choice of drugs, because they’re definitely in cloud cuckoo-land!
    PZ was once a tranquil place full of arty types, hippies and surfer types – they, like anyone else with any sense – couldn’t get away fast enough.

  • Kerry Butters

    Complete rubbish. Penzance like many Cornish towns has a few issues but I challenge you to move to any other town close to a city and tell me Penzance is rough.

  • AbuDhabi

    I grew up in Penzance, my family are still there. What people fail to realise is that every place has its seedy side. I now live in a village on the outskirts of London and even we have our issues. teenagers are a fact of life, they will drink, they will make sexual references and there wil always be problem families. It seems to be a case of not on my doorstep.

  • Jean

    I think you are either grossly exaggerating with this article, or you are actively searching for trouble in Penzance.
    I am not originally from Penzance, but have lived on the Treneere estate with my family for the last five years. I’m finding it lovely, safe and quiet. Our neighbours are all friendly, decent, quiet people, mostly pensioners and families with children. The most noise here comes from the seagulls!
    Admittedly, we live in a ‘nice’ bit, where most of the homes are privately owned, but it’s still on the estate, and it’s moist definitely in Penzance.
    I have done evening courses in nearby Penwith college, and used to walk home alone after dark (I’m a woman). Never had even a hint of trouble and I felt perfectly safe.
    We love it here!

    • Jane

      Could you let me know which is the ‘nice’ bit please? I’m currently looking at a house for sale on the estate and, being new to Penzance, I have no idea which areas are safe to live in! Thanks.

      • Dave

        Treneere estate isn’t as bad as it was around 2000-2007 lot of the drug abusers have moved on or died.

        I’ve lived in Treneere my whole life and have had no trouble there isn’t any nice area everywhere has it downsides. Of course you’re gonna get your general d**khead.

        Penbrea Road, New Estate, Jack stevens, Poleweath Close are all nice places to live.


        • Jane

          Thanks Dave. I’m looking at one on Lower Peverell & the area has been peaceful every time I have visited but it’s always good to hear from someone in the area. The houses are certainly expensive enough to make you think that it can’t be that bad. Although whether or not house prices mean anything at all is difficult to tell!

  • Chav Not

    I grew up in a village near Penzance. Penzance has some redeeming features. It has a great history and is picturesque, if you can ignore the people and boasts more pubs per square mile than anywhere else in the Country. Who hasn’t rolled down Chapel St. blind drunk on a Saturday night?? Unfortunately Cornwall, since the 1980’s has become an area of high unemployment and Penzance reflects this. The Council have failed the town by making car parking extortionate and therefore keeping, both tourists and locals out of the town or spending the least amount of time possible in the town, to avoid not only expensive parking but the fear of incurring a further cost by exceeding the parking limit by minutes and getting a fine. This is a sad way to generate an income and has forced businesses out of the town, creating a sea of second hand shops and pound shops, hardly tourist attractions. What is left?? The educated have mostly had to move out of the county or even out of the country to find employment. The locals who do work cannot afford housing and then there is everyone else, who appears have no pride in themselves or their town. As for some of the other comments here, I cannot decide if they truly are the uneducated dimwits they show themselves to be, with their lack of grammar and punctuation or are just taking the proverbial!!The good news is Penzance will remain long after the Chavs have left or died!

  • Jo bloggs

    Well done,glad to read what I have been thinking for the last 5 years. Penzance has turned into a really sad and slightly degraded half closed down place. Most of the hippies have gone into hiding in the fringes of West Penwith,and as you say the Council have sold us down the river (with shopping trolleys in it). You can almost certainly see the direct effects of privatising councils and the increase of the most successful ‘Poundland’ where you can buy a wide array of inferior, useless and virtually broken sweatshop goods. No one bothers to have much of a conscience any-more! I am born and bred in Penzance and luckily we grew up in a creative and vibrant scene of colourful characters. It really is a complete sh*t-hole now much like the rest of the UK and with even more soul-less supermarkets being built I wouldn’t be surprised if it goes to utter sh*t completely. It is now a boring and slightly unfriendly place to take part in!! We all try to have an impact to make the town better but it is like banging your head against a brick wall. Cornwall Council are fully responsible for the degradation of Cornish towns, soon we will have private security forces instead of public policing. Please CHAV type people, can you feck off now!!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Falmouth lady

    Oh dear; this does NOT bode well at all. The article is a serious deterrent for anybody (including myself) to think of moving near PZ. Even worse are the replies which are meant to prove that the populace of the town are well educated, hard working, decent folk. It is a great pity that the only reply which indicates a modicum of intelligence is the one from Hippy Girl. The others are mis-spelt, grammatically incorrect “text speak” rants.

  • skyla

    Okay okay that person before tryin to type get a grip…. As you said kids 14 year olds think their to bad…. I’m from birmingham live hear all my life, live in the hardest part and I would love for these sad kids to try that around hear because people do not take sh*t (FACT)… Teenagers around there need to sort out what they look like…. Who’s style are you going for CRACK head????? Or WASTE MAN???? Don’t think you know…. I did live near pnz for few years but couldn’t stand the thickness and lack of street wise…. AND the DUMBEST part you reck your own town deeeeerrrrr like who does that just shows they aint got brains….. Must be the sea air

  • danyellaar

    pZ iz DA shIz dAWg hOw darE yA fUKin inSulT iT. tReNeErE 4 eVa, iTs evEN gOT a CHipPy n a sHop mAYt.. duNno wOt yA chAtIn abouT!!!!!!!!!!1 xXxXxXxXxXx

  • Snow_White

    i lived in penzance for a while and what does my head in is that i was a young mum and had to live in the mother n baby unit in heamoor for a few months till i moved back to manchester (which is worse) these chav young mums drive me mad they give other young mums that are trying to make a real good go of things a bad name(a branding) i as a youngmum am not a chav at all i work for a living so does my partner yes we are on a esstate but we pay our own rent tax etc and my son attends skool everyday penzance is turnning to trash and it aint good at all, i went to vist my mum n sisters who live just over near pz town and i was amazed at how much the chavs are taking over its madness!

    • hippy girl

      It’s a great shame that our standards have gone. Sorry to sound like a moaning mini, but look at Snow White’s spelling and grammar. If we all tried our best to do our best and be the best that we can be, the world would be a lot better. I would be very embarrassed to leave such a message.

  • rudeboyclush

    fukin penzance is amazin u fukd up dik love carl n chav team

    • duffer

      penzance is a s**tehole