Posted by & filed under North London.

To an outsider, the presumption of North London is of a good life involving rows upon rows of beautiful semi detached houses complimented by two or three brand new company cars on the drive with the occupants of the 1930’s properties all working hard for a living down the City of London. Sadly that’s just what it is,a presumption, when you talk about the dreary dump that is Palmers Green.

Situated between two s**tholes (One being Enfield Town and the other being Wood Green), Palmers Green has gradually become a blot on the landscape. For an unknown reason, the whole of the mediterranean community in Britain has decided to make this little commuter town its home(And therefore Palmers Green turns logically to Palmers Greek!). Rows upon rows of multi colured Greengrocers, 24hr opening kebab shops, Cheapo jewellers (who give Elizabeth Duke a run for their money) and acropolis impersinating hairdressers attract, along with the usual chav magnets such as McDonalds, KFC, Burger King and the infamous The Fox Pub(5 murders in three years is a record even Baghdad would be proud of!), attracts all the down trodden chav skum living in Harringey, Tottenham, Edmonton and Sothgate to my little town and infest it with their local lingo (Dialect includes ‘Blad’, ‘My Bredrin’, ‘Do you want beef?’ (I prefer a ham sandwich with mayo really) and ‘Wots Guanin’) which us many human Palmers Green residents still strugle to understand. As well as their alien language, these sub-human characters also like to bring their quirky dress sense to the town which even Vivien Westward would be most proud of. With the ‘boys’ wearing their baseball caps at angles which defy even gravity, they fit snugly under their essential hooded tops. Underneath is the sleveless basketball top showing off their ‘muscles’ and the drop down jeans which also fit snugly but around their ankles this time and not around their waist which is the main purpose of the jean garment. But forgive these poor beings as they go to school at such highly academic institutes like Barnet College, Southgate College and Chase Community…they cant help being as thick as pig s**t! By reading the description of the chav girl in many other articles on here i would waste my time describing the typical ‘Palmers Green Totty’ because they all sound the same (All ugly slags). Because of all this, spotting a relatively normal looking person down Green Lanes is becoming a bit of a mission and a game can even be made out of it (Fun for all the family but make sure you dont get mugged by them!)!

Liking any other type of music or lifestyle round here parts that these characters dont agree with can get you into some serious bother as many have had the pleasure of finding out (Being stabbed, shot or even murdered is a pleasent commodity round here!). If your radio station aint tuned in to the local garage or hip-hop stations like Choice FM or Kiss 100 or you decide to wear a t-shirt showing your support to an unknown indie band, be prepared to put up with a load of abuse and to be ‘rushed’ (Another name for a beating apparantley). So if you do decide to visit my little town, please only come if its necessary as this town, as the saying from League of Gentlemen goes, is a local town for local people (or skum).

You have been warned!

  • Georgia Salvia

    I don’t know about anyone else but this is a funny article. Written by someone who has experienced Greek stereotypes and therefore created some entertainment for us. Yes the stereotypical Greek girl and guy from palmers green match to the statements above, there is a pattern emerging of Chavy “marias” with exaggerated Greek accents and acrylic nails who date the Chavy “stelios” who drives the polo and loves a flouna here and there from his yaya. It’s all in good banter. Greeks who live out of the area ( I am Greek and don’t live in palmers green) may see this, those living there may not see the joke as yes, the joke is on you. It’s nothing to be so offended about, as there are gangster speaking Brits there are the same for Greeks. I find this hilarious, in fact I don’t believe it’s written by a racist Brit I believe it’s written by someone like me who can see how funny and at times embarrassing the Greek community can be. Relax everyone. We could write an article on Arabs or chav Turks n curds or white trash brits because THEY ALL EXIST!!

  • Bubble

    Would somebody out there read a book or something about the difference between Greeks and Greek Cypriots. Two different countries, which have there own governments. The used to have there own currencies until they they joined the Euro. And they are actually two different kind of cultures.

    If the Greek and Turkish Cypriots agree to leave Palmers Green and London. Will the British Government hand back the sovereign bases and cypriot land they stole off of Cyprus in 1959? The total geographical area of land owned by the british government in Cyprus far exceeds, that of Palmers Green and Enfield and probably Southgate too!

    I was caught speeding on the motorway in Cyprus, by a copper with a handheld speed camera, which was fair enough. It turns out the 8 km stretch of motorway i was speeding on, runs through the sovereign land owned by the UK. I was issued a ticket by a cop in a British bobbies uniform, and paid my fine to the UK government from an office within sovereign owned land in Cyprus.

    How would you like it if you committed an offence in Palmer Green, and was reprimanded by a Cypriot copper and made to pay a fine from Palmers green to a Cypriot government?

    The Gulf war parts one and two and afghanistan war, and Libyan conflict would not be possible by the UK military without the Cyprus UK military bases. Nor would the life saving treatment for injured soldiers be as successful, without the military hospitals in the UK bases. Do you remember that famous propaganda media headline in the first Gulf war which read

    “Saddam missiles can hit British soil in 45 minutes”

    That British soil was in Cyprus, not the UK! Maybe the Turks should launch a few missiles at the UK, in the vain hope of killing some Greek Cypriots?

    What shall the Cypriot authorities do with the trouble makers comprising of p*ssed up military personnel and holiday makers whilst on Cypriot soil, who are ignorant and disrespectful to the customs of the local people (many of p*ssheads are chavs by the way) and also what shall the cypriots do with many thousands of UK retiree’s that have made there home in Cyprus? one village in the Paphos area is occupied by 80% British people.

    So my little redneck blogger, if your going to criticise, try educating yourself on the subject first. As for me, I am a 50/50 mix of cypriot and british blood, and I am proud of both. Both nations, in my humble opinion have faults and virtues.

  • Omair

    I think the article says a bit more about the author than the place. I lived in West Hampstead and East Finchley before buying a house in Palmers Green, and I felt significantly less safer in both of those places, even though they might have been classed as “posher”. You need to live in a place to judge it, not drive through it.

  • Chinglish

    Im laughing at at these rants and comments. I was born and raised in Brixton. What a sh*t hole that was. I moved to Palmers Green in 2007 and realistically speaking what a wonderful community I know live in. I like living amongst the Greek, Turkish and Kurdish people. I have Polish neighbours too. I moved away from Palmers Green temporarily for 6 months to the New Forest. What I missed the most was in fact a decent kebab!! If you have problems with chavs then you need to learn how to defend yourself. Then perhaps the will be fearful of you rather than you being an issue to them. As for the murders “we move to Richmond” lowest crime rate in London. If you can afford to live there!!

  • Dezziie

    Okay.. I used to live there and I went to Broomfield School but it’s NOT the greek’s fault. I’m Italian and to be honest I saw plenty of ENGLISH people ruining it pretty well by theirselves… I still think palmers green is a great place, its nice, dangerous but nice.. as are many places in London :/ Its not a sh*thole and I myself have used those slang words a few times because unfortunately, I say them automatically (luckily not as much as my friends who are actually not violent or stupid) And saying them doesnt make me stupid or a violent teen either. All a matter of opinion.

  • Dez

    Demmi@ You are an OUTCAST to the whole human race.
    An an immigrant,or descendant of immigrants,running his mouth about immigrants! Hilarious!
    First you need to be greatful to the country that is feeding your belly,and then hope your country can do the same for the less fortunate.

  • Jay

    First, I want to say you’re insulting the majority of North Londoners in this little rant, calling the girls slags and the boys uneducated thugs, but you have made numerous spelling mistakes! Any area has its negative aspects and Palmers Green is a lovely place, where the community are friendly and people are polite and pleasant. Sure, there are some kids who misbehave but please TELL ME AN AREA IN THE WORLD WHERE THIS WILL NOT BE THE CASE! Every area has this. Stop being so arrogant and pig-headed.

  • Andy A

    To the author of this article

    I am a prood Greek Cypriot (author probably won’t understand what this is due to ignorance) who lives in Enfield.
    Enfield HAS gone downhill, as has the rest of London and England during the last couple of decades but that has nothing to do with the Greek community in Palmers ‘Greek’ in particular.
    Most Greek families I know own a nice house and a decent car or two and usually run their own successful business/businesses or have a well-paid job. Their children are usually encouraged into further education to make a better living for themselves and their future family.
    However, many ENGLISH people I know cannot read/write properly and sign-on for a living whilst living in a council house, all of which is paid for with the taxes that myself and many other Greeks pay in abundance.

    So in summary, GO F**K YOUSELF YOU RACIST C**T!!!

    • Eva

      Andy.. Andy..
      I’m not english.. but living in London for a while..
      Most Greek families you know own a nice house and a decent car or two and usually run their own successful business/businesses or have a well-paid job. Their children are usually encouraged into further education to make a better living for themselves and their future family.

      All so fantastic… and how come you went bankrupt??? Thanks to who? well..
      ps.”ENGLISH people I know cannot read/write properly” Darling there is no country full of perfect intelligent people… is there are any criminals in Greece??? So in summary go and speak to someone… and don’t call all the nation names… just think about it if you have a brain.

  • Dino

    Anyone who has something foolish to say about Greeks is a f—ing d-ckhead. If it weren’t for the Greeks you wouldn’t be civilised. Lets look at 500bc as one of a thousand examples. If you know your history instead of being uncultured and superficial you would know that if it weren’t for the Spartans your beloved Europe would not have been Europe any more. Greeks laid the foundations for modern day Europe so s–t the f–k up you chav
    you complain about immigrants after britain and america has raped near enough every other country, why? They dont have a culture of their own

  • Dino

    anyone who has something foolish to say about Greeks is a f—ing d-ckhead. If it weren’t for the Greeks you wouldn’t be civilised. Lets look at 500bc. If you know your history instead of being uncultured and superficial you would know that if it weren’t for the Spartans your beloved Europe would not have been Europe any more. Greeks laid the foundations for modern day Europe so s–t the f–k up you chav
    you complain about immigrants after britain and america has raped near enough every other country, why? They dont have a culture of their own

  • k ambis

    I work in wood green but live in Hertfordshire now, if you want a better life get out of london we are posh here. And educated. Please dont all come this way, there are no kebab shops in ware.

  • http://-- Green EYE

    Palmers Greek is wicked, despite your racist comments i for once would rather live there than anywhere else. Greeks rule they have a wicked way of life, they are giving and kind people–and plus where there are greek there is a sense of civilisation.
    And quite frankly, I find you who wrote this a lowlife asshole who frankly! isnt liked by Greek probably due to your ignorant way of thinking. You dont like palmers green, dont step foot in palmers green–scum bags make the place look horrible. Since the greek left harringay, harringay has become a sh*tholeeeee…that should say something something. Next time you wanna complain about the Greeks, think to yourself why? jeakousy

  • Ada Harriotts

    I do not recognise these posts at all. Its not such a bad place, yes it is multicultural, like the most of London.

    • Terry Pratchett

      Palmers Green is a very nice part of North London: Nice selection of shops, cafes and restaraunts; in close proximity to two nice parks (Broomfield and Groveland Park); convenient transport links (Palmers Green BR and Southgate Tube both walkable).

      Quite frankly I find these comments about ethnic minorities extremely offensive, ignorant and racist! Rather live next dore to Greeks than a bunch of BNP supporting English chavs who are a disgrace to the British population!

      • Debz

        I agree profusely….. Wish I was back in my home town . Is the Intimate Theatre still there next to St Monica’s Church?
        It’s so nice where you all are….
        we moved to West Drayton in 1983 and even that are isn’t as nice as North London. . so tell them to behave Terry!!!!

  • RW

    I quite like Palmers Green… it is still a rasonable area to live.

    And I don’t have a problem with the Greek population either, most of them seem like decent people.

    But for the guy who says they would be better off going back to Greece for a standard of living… is this the bankrupt country that is begging the German’s to bail them out?

  • lets go the pub mate


  • Great Sage

    You’re partly right in some aspects of what you describe however, what you seem to be unaware of is that much or most of the Greek community have moved out of Palmers Green and it’s usually the more disadvantaged ones that have remained. The Greek community have generally followed in the footsteps and migratory habits of their predecessors to the area. Ironically, most of the businesses in the area are not not run by Greek people at all (perhaps only 5%) as Greeks don’t usually like being ‘counter-jumpers’. You’ll probably find that only of the grocers, 2 butchers, one hair dresser, 2 estate agents and one bar are Greek.

    Enfield (Palmers Green falling within this borough) has traditionally been an industrial borough where it’s inhabitants have had manual and skilled labour work which doesn’t pay very well. Historically, Palmers Green was quite an affluent area and once a long time before Southgate ever did had a cinema but was gradually overtaken by Southgate and Winchmore Hill. Then when Labour got in they wanted to integrate those less fortunate members of society with the others (a uk wide policy) in the hope of providing incentive and opportunity.

    Wood Green is in Haringay (Haringey is within Haringay). Haringey is primarily inhabited by non-ethnic minorities although you wouldn’t know it from the high street. Wood Green is more multicultural as it caters for lots of social housing. Worth mentioning is that where one Local authority cannot house a person in need then another Local authority is obliged to take that person or family on.

    A lot of the property in Palmers Green has always been rental accomodation (not Greek owned) and all was quite well up until the recession about 12 years ago. Since that last recession the area has steadily gotten with many of the estate agents taking on social housing clients from local authorities due to both domestic and immigration functions. The area very multicultural. There is one non-eu country that benefits from a badly worded immigration policy that allows it’s citizens to migrate to the UK as long as they can show that they have a share in a uk business no matter how small… additionally, that country’s citizens shall have an easier time entering the uk once another country qualifies for eu membership.

    Then you have all the rest of the migrants that the uk is obliged to take on under various international conventions and treaties -excluding EU economic migrants. EU economic migrants have now overtaken the students in rental sector of Palmers Green. It is these migrants that contribute to keeping UK Plc ticking over. I should add that due to it’s obligations and Labours desire to increase housing availability, many houses in the area have been converted to flats which has brought it’s own obvious problems.

    In relation to the education aspect you refer to, you’ll probably find that most of the college students in Barnet and Southgate are from other areas such as Tottenham and Edmonton and Enfield.

    That is how the make-up of the area is composed as far as I understand it.


    the only chavs in palmers are english people, however ‘greeks’ = cheese + lots of hair gel, spikey hair, lots of cheap after shave, plukd eye bows (men). think you kinda get da pic.

    ‘Greeks leave golden footsteps everywhere they go’


    Greeks leave a trail of cheap after shave and hair gel everywhere they go.

  • Demmi

    Well i will agree with the statement above 1000%
    Its about time i found someone who sees the bloody foolishness which desrupted palmer green. TheN again, people follow the greek community like dogs, they can get enough of what we do with a community when we are united. Mind you, now we have a whole lot of ethnic backgrounds in palmers green (forget what it use to be). Looking around all you can see are turkish and kurdish shops being open, even the cyprus bank has shut down. Sad right? But it gets worse….
    The murders and stabbng in palmers green just keep getting better, they are increasing. This is why i keep stating that if your a smart greek you would pack your sh*t and run to the airport and make you way back home. Whether thats cyprus of greece; who cares. Mind you, in Cyprus we have a little thing going on; OUTCASTS from other countries are seeking refuge. How great is that!!! You leave one london and enter a freaking jungle!!!! Just hoping they dont make their way into Greece *I wish i was the president- let them swim back to where they came from*

    Anywayyy….went off topic. but yea palmers Green is basically f**ked up thanks to all those loosers making their way into it. Thanks alot btw, you just couldnt stay in haringay or woodgreen…the place aint big enough for you;since your multiplying just as much as vermin. Take palmers greek if you must, personally we dont give a sh*t since we know we were their FIRST. Greeks leave golden footsteps everywhere they go.

    Have a nice day

    • μαλακασ

      F**k you!

      • Kuprea

        Sorry but does this author actually live in Palmers Green or UK even? Before the the curds arrived in Harringey, Wood Green and Palmers Green, didnt the place smell of fresh bread and was it not a friendly atmosphere?

        Now thanks to the new people that arrived, the place stinks of poo! been looking to buy near my parents for along time, saving for deposit, all of a sudden people who cant even speak English are getting houses and business? why is that?

        This author clearly is dumb and we are living in 21st century for heaven sakes!! Remember my Grandparents saying when they first arrived no one new what a Watermelon was? PMSL!!! I bet people like the dumb author are very very jealous of Greeks. Why has he not mentioned the other cultures who live in Palmers Green? Greeks put Palmers Green on the map and made it a wonderful place to live!