The ugly capital of England
Forget Chorley or Wigan or even Stoke-on-Trent, MORECAMBE has the highest concentration of ugly and deformed people you are ever likely to encounter. It’s like working on a huge psychiatric ward with all the mental cases walking up and down the streets, smoking, drunk or eating fast food from McDogburgers or BurgerWank. These people look and smell deprived; there are pot bellied babies in Niger and Ethiopia who look decadent compared to these sad cases. Many aren’t chavs – they’re too poor to afford knock off gear. I went to Morecambe last year to do a stint of anthropology, and what did I find? Yobs getting drunk by the doorways of their B and Bs while their unfortunate and foul mouthed children watched; chavs racing their crappy little bikes along the prom trying to impress the pot bellied slags whose navals were green from infection; pound shops by the streetload; litter – a type of litter only left by the scummy: fast food cartons, cans of cheap lager, cig packets. Visit once, so that you can see that where YOU live isn’t as bad as you thought. Then go home and wash thoroughly.