Living in Leominster
Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Herefordshire

A small market town on the Welsh border, the residents speak with a very distinct cross between a strong west-country accent and a slight north welsh twang. There are four types of Leominster residents, I shall now go through them.

1) Old people – probably 20% of Leominster’s population consists of nice, white-haired, rather middle-class old folks, but due to there being just about no public healthcare in this sh*thole, I wouldn’t expect their kind to last for much longer.

2) Gypsies – Call them pikies, irish, Gippos, whatever you like. They’re all the same. Armed with unregistered shotguns they go around Leominster and surrounding countryside buying, stealing or otherwise procuring scrap metal. Many say that they sell this scrap metal for a profit, but I believe that such is the mass amount of the stuff they nick, they must actually feed on it.

3) Stupid, inbred, racist, redneck, white-trash – This is by far the largest demographic in Leominster, or ‘Lemner’ as they call it. Living in public housing, on trailer parks surrounding the town or in sheds on rented or squatted pieces of scrap land, these toothless, inbred, skinny ****s really are the scum of the earth. Although poor, they almost all vote for UKIP so ‘them blacks don’t come back’ (despite the fact there are only about 2 non-whites in the whole of the town). Although legally, a large amount of them are armed to the teeth with everything from grandaddy’s old rabbit gun to semiautomatic rifles. In Leominster, there are two gun shops within a short drunken stagger of the White Lion pub and the shooting range. These hicks are protective over their arms, and when drunk (which is often) gunshots are often heard, especially in the rural areas next to leominster. Most of these six-fingered idiots go to church, (first baptist, of course) although this is due to the fact science is yet to reach this far-flung part of the country. A startling amount of country and western may also be heard in local pubs… and not good country either.

4) Chavs – Some youngsters are opting for this ‘chav’ look, imported from nearby Hereford. With their snapback-hats and their BMX bikes, they’re successfully copying their southward cousins (and brothers in some cases, at the same time) in Hereford.


  • wayne

    Leominster is nothing like Alabama.

  • Mary Hughes

    Written by annon visitor. Obviously a snob and to scared to give thier name. Afraid the ‘gypos’ will put a curse on them i dare say. Lets hope this unwanted visitor keeps away . Let them live in thier make believe world where all is beautiful and no ones poor. This is the kind of ignorant idiots running our country into the ground.

  • wayne

    more power to the Queen,let the middle ages return….too much choice spoils the broth.choice is slavery.

  • wayne

    i actually thought that leominster (and hereford) were nice happy towns with traditional ladies with hats on and checked skirts,with sensible shoes.tradition brings order,whereas modernism brings chaos.

  • wayne

    hereford and leominster have chavs? it all started in liverpool,1977,with tacchini etc.

  • wayne

    leominster is all white?does this mean that there is no mugging culture?

  • Leominter man

    Whoever has wrote this is a Labour voter. If you don’t like Leominster – try Barnsley.

  • Joan Hammond

    If you don’t like white trash try London or Leicester!