Living in Knottingley
Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in North East, Yorkshire

I have lived in Knottingley for 10 years, but have known the place a lot longer, I previously lived in Selby,(enough said) and wanted rid of the inbreds around there.

It’s not a pretty town and was subject to the 5 town policy, ie, wakefield council taking all the money from that area for themselves and spending it in wakefield, (likened to a less pretty downtown Beirut).
First impressions, lack of out of work immigrants (yippee!), cheap houses and plenty of shops, all good. People are quite often very wary of anyone not related to at least 3 other families in “knottla”, indeed I was considered a spy for the 1st 6 months working there because no one knew me! They only gave up on that one, when I shagged one of the local bikes (must be a sort of “in” ceremony?).

There seems to be a penchant for shagging each others wives around here, and if not, theres plenty of rumours, usually fuelled in the pit era pubs here after about 16 pints, there’s actually a men only pub here, (legal, and tbh, fantastic when the footy is on).

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Strange goings on in the places of work around here, lots of naked men running about and it’s considered manly to be able to pick a giant rod of steel up using your arse cheeks??? I was quite worried about showering with these people, but I’m assured it’s a “man thing” so ok! Lots of big houses around here, but also 2 big council estates.

Broom Hill (been told its a lot better), I got a burnt out pram thrown at me when last there, thrown by a tribe of under 10 miscreants dressed in tribal warfare attire (jeans, boots, and dirt, and and about 3 teeth between the lot of them. Then there’s the Warick Estate. If you want to buy anything, it’s there, as long as it’s illegal, drugs, cars, guns, women (not many good ones though). A place so fearsome, the gippos lovely travelling folk don’t even camp near there anymore (I suppose that’s a plus point actually). I have also been told its a lot nicer there nowadays, just don’t go there at night, especially in a car or with a wallet…

So, all in all an old pit town, full of inbreds, drunks, ladies of dubious character, doleys and druggys, but at least the average iq is above 70 (unlike Selby) and they are much friendlier, (unlike Selby).