The things i love about keighley town center is
how all the ***** and i mean these lovely people
all flock to the pound shop on half price day of course everythings fifty pence net yourself a bargin.
I myself being an undercover **** so i mearly wear the trainers but not the trackys as iam undercover and simply cant afford em mate init so i get a cheap pair of jeans from jean juction another popular **** clothes shop and stand outside the post office with my ten lambert and butler just waiting for someone to stop and offer me fifty pence a separate and making a fortune i soon myself will be able to afford my own trackys and new cap has to be a burbery only the best for me.

If you want to buy a few separates off me just look out for the guy in niky trainers and a cheap pair of scruffy jeans im gonna make it big in this town gonna getmyself a nice supped up nova too please buy my cigs bargin at fifthy pence a separate.
Also is there any girls in keighley who would do a turn for a tenner as i am desperate young chavy lad with no self astem and a small sausage yours lovenly madmick i cant spell very good cause i used to goto oakbank but mainly wagg it when it was an english lesson xxx

I’d like to say something good about Keighley (pronounced keefli) but my mum brought me up not to lie.

It really is the no hope ******** of the universe. The film Rita Sue and Bob too is like a toned down fly on the wall documentary of keefli life.

The official dress code of the keefliite is Burberry cap or handbag (depending on gender) and the Kappa tracksuit (must be fake) and kingfisher trainers (£4.99 at Brantano) with NIKE wrote on in felt tip (some times the e is the wrong way round).

These are some of the things you will observe about the average keefliite.

Keefli ********* don’t use umbrellas: This is because you can’t push your fatherless mixed race sprog about, smoke a *** and use an umbrella.

Now that you do not instantly qualify for a council house when you have your first baby, the average age of new mums has risen to 14.

Keefli ***** and ********* think it’s funny to goz on the keypad and screen of the cash machines on North St. This is cos they have never had reason to use one.

If you stop a bloke beating his wife up in the pub she will turn on you and knock seven shades of **** out of you (I’ve seen this happen).

Tell a keefli lass she’ll get chlamydia if you shag her and your in there for certain, cos its not often they get flowers.

Having said this they have poured money into Keighley to make life more pleasant for some of its residents. The only problem being is that if you talk to Joe Keefli it was all spent on one section of the community causing massive amounts of resentment.

Money has also been spent on the town centre making it a nicer place to smoke, spit, thieve and throw your half eaten burger or soggy chips.

As my dad used to say you can’t polish a **** and if you try you’ll get covered in ****.

I am writing this in responce to the local Newspaper which has taken facts from you and then publishing them, I have lived in Keighley for 17 years i was born here, things have been changing although now things are at an all-time high, in keighley burberry caps are out, you must own either a nike TN hat or an adidas climacool either as both are good, trackies are essential, now the thing with the socks is, people from braithwaite have there pants tucked in their socks while everyone else has their socks in the right place. Now most ***** in Keighley own a pair of Nike Shox or TN’s, although the classical Reebok Classics are still a fashionable trainer. A typical jumper to be found is to be one from a wide range of designers, Henri Lloyd, Fred Perry, Paul & Shark and obviously Lacoste, nobody forgets a nice lacoste tracksuit. You cant always wear a tracksuit though, for the occasion when a **** wants to look smart, you can find a **** in a pair of jeans and Shoes, which range from Rockports to Nicholas Deakins, Deakins Prefered, still worn though is the trademark Stripy Jumper, as mentioned before in a previous thread the vic is a good place to drink where you will normally find underage drinkers with their mates, If you are hungry walk over the road to raja’s and get yourself a chicken fillet burger and chips with a can of pop £2.00 what a Bargain !!!!!! Keighley Is Pretty Much A Ruthless Place And Should Be Considered As One Of The Only Places For ****’s And ********’s.

Any Responce welcome !!! NOT !!!

How grim is your Postcode?

Keighley (Skeefly) is now the home to literally hundreds of *****, who unashamadley take to the streets at lunchtime, to chat in their goups (usually consisting of one pram and 6 burbery caps). Their favorite ‘hang-out’ sopt appears to be the newly refurbished bus station. There they like to hide their cans of carling as they hassle people on their journeys too and from the town.
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