Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in East Sussex, South East, United Kingdom

Years ago this was a quiet and cosy little town until one day an animal known as the “chav” decided to pullover its stolen caravan and settle down here. Unfortunately this vermin species bred like flies before it could be spayed by a veterinarian. Within months the chavs took over and made a quiet town into a complete s******e, terrorising innocent pedestrians. The chav can be seen all over the town usually sporting a flat cap (even in the heat of summer) and wearing tracksuits with countless items of “bling” as they call it, from argos. The most notorious chav hangout is the Tesco. Here teen chavs with their pregnant 13 year old girlfriends can be seen harassing innocent shoppers, as even the weediest chavs think that they are professional ufc fighters when in groups. Living in Hailsham is an immense displeasure. The only way the government can clean up this town is by legalising chav hunting.
By: pete


  • hackneyed

    An awful place. The worst thing about it is the Chavs who want to be seen as being as tough as the Travellers. The Travellers aren’t too much of a problem funnily enough- yes, they nick things out of gardens here and there, but show them respect and you don’t tend to get bothered while out and about. The Chavs on the other hand have absolutely nothing else to do except try create the impression that they’re “hard”. That’s the extent of their ambitions, and most of them have never been any further than Eastbourne (and probably only went there to start a fight).
    The town (many adults included) seems to revel in the idea that it’s a bit rough and ready. You don’t have to spend much time there before you hear some tale of how “funny” it was when so and so smashed some bloke’s lights out. I feel safer living in Zone 2 in London than I did in Hailsham, and that’s saying something. At least you can stay out of trouble if you keep your head down here. Hailsham Chavs will have a go at you for no reason whatsoever (especially if you’re not a familiar face) essentially because they’ve got nothing better to do. Jeremy Kyle could do a mini series on the place.

  • Lewis

    I don’t know why people always complaining about this place, it has one of the lowest crime rates in UK, has some good schools and it’s a lot nicer than most places I’ve seen. There are Chavs and Traveller community everywhere, maybe you need to see the world outside of East Sussex.