Posted by Anonymous & filed under Merseyside.

I live in Liverpool in a lovely historic houseo towards the southern sub urban and rarely venture out to merseyside due to the filthy chav society it you can call it that.

As I recently moved to Liverpool , the are is somewhat unfamiliar to me so I decided to take a drive one lovely sunday afternoon .

I was driving near princes park and lost my way ,the turning I took must have been wrong because I ended up in Merseyside which seemed to be a very unsavoury place even at the best of times but today many hooded youths lined the streets clad in flashy Nike shoes and apparel of Fred perry.

Down a shady street , each side of me houses were evident with squalor and decay ,men in grubby tank tops squatted in filth and every so often a house looked nice with a flashy car so I was able to determine where drug lords lived determined with the squalor of the rest of the council estate .

The further I drove in to hell the more I wanted to be far far away from Merseyside .Eventually I reached a place where a group of eight or nine youths loitered next to a red golf and a blue golf both of which were engineered with brightly coloured wheel rims and spoilers .

I decided to ask directions and rolled my car window to converse with these young men , as I drew near the youths stopped kicking their larger cans and all turned to stare at me threateningly.”Excuse me lads I am lost and wondered if you could give me directions to the city centre , to which one said in a dialect I was unfamiliar with although I picked up the jist ” Mate I will put a bottle in Your throat, me and the Mersey Crew will batter you ” The youth kicked my car and tried to force the door open, which I thank god was locked and drove , I put a few miles between me and the “Mersey crew” when I realised I was driving in more familiar teritory.

The moral of the story never go to Merseyside i beg unless you a) are six foot nine and are knotted with muscle or b) if you want to get “battered”

8 Responses to “One fine Sunday in Merseyside”

  1. Some Rational Thought

    This article stinks! It would appear that the writer ain’t ever actually been to Liverpool, or any other big city for that matter.
    It’s standard that you DON’T ask for directions from people in an unfamiliar area, especially if you think it’s a dodgy area. Ask someone like a parking warden for directions, they’ll know the area well, will appreciate being asked something other than why don’t they do something worthwhile with their time, & any bystanders will just assume that you’re giving the warden verbal abuse, which won’t give away that you ain’t local & will make ‘em think twice about giving you any hassle.
    That all said, it’s possible that had the senario in the article actually taken place, the blokes in & around the two parked cars, would quite possibly have given you pretty decent directions, depends alot on your demeaner & speech innit.

    Reply
  2. chris

    What a load of lies. Nobody would say mersey crew. And wearing Fredd Perry. Why write such lies. You sad pathetic person.

    Reply
  3. evo

    Venture out into merseyside? Ended up in Merseyside?
    You live in Liverpool, that is Merseyside.

    Reply
  4. Disgusted

    I heard about this website in Owen Jones’ book Chavs: the demonization of the working class, never in a million years did I think so many people would be vitriolic and unpleasant enough to devote their time to writing foul mouthed, ignorant, and despite the author’s alleged superior status to these “chavs”, still semi-literate and appallingly spelt articles generalising whole communities based on isolated personal encounters with anti-social groups. Is it any wonder those youths threatened to put a bottle in your throat? I bet the contempt and disgust you had for them was written all over your smug little Tory face. I come from Merseyside, I know many decent, honest people who’ve grown up in places like Speke, Anfield and Norris Green, half of my family is working class, though I’ve had a fairly privileged upbringing compared to most. You especially do not have the right to judge over people you merely observed out of the window. If you don’t like living in Merseyside then let me tell you with typical Scouse frankness, f**k off back to whichever little southern village you came from, and maybe think how you’d cope if you had to live in a tiny little house scraping by on minimum wage. (no, they’re not all “living it up” on benefits)

    Reply

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