Daventry

Daventry, Northamptonshire – Full of 10-toes-to-a-foot, forehead shaving, sportswear clad, hillbilly gimps.

A ghastly little town which has the misfortune to house some of the most **** social misfits ever to walk the planet.

The locals are thick and ****** – where you aren’t accepted in polite society unless mum, dad and sister comes to less than 3 people – sportswear is worn with copious amounts of gold rings and the XR2 with big rims is the chariot of choice.

How grim is your Postcode?

Weekend activity is cider consumption, theft, vandalism, ******* one’s siblings and spending dole money. There is very little left to talk about – hang out in the town centre at “Freddie’s Super Pub” (Really.. you get the picture?), smoke some crack in the toilets, down some booze, throw an ashtray and start a fight.

The council recently spoke to a marketing company to try and improve the image of this cesspool of humanity – their advice was “knock it down and build something nice.”

I live about 10 miles away, but visit here on a daily basis. I’ve been doing it for 10 months now and every time I get out of my car, I think I’m catching typhoid.