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Archive for the ‘Gwent’ Category

Pontypool

This article has: 1 Comment

This is a marvellous little town situated in the South East Wales Valleys but is blighted by vermin known as ‘chavs’. Although it isn’t very hard to spot one of these creatures in the town, it is hard to say their hotspots as they like to hover around. However, my observations found that the best places to spot a chav is in the middle of town centre by Iceland and Wilko, the Jobcentre which is a short walk away from town centre, the bus stops by the council offices and Tesco.

There is a small area in Pontypool known as Trevethin where most of these creatures have settled. When you drive through this place, you look at it with disgust and begin to ask yourself why you are coming here. Some roads are somewhat quiet but there are others that are swarmed with chav children who ride around on their bikes wearing their classic attire, shouting in their retarded gangster accent and just being mischievous little things. If you’re unlucky enough to be in the area, you may encounter some verbal abuse from them and possibly further if you challenge them. Most of them like to chill outside the Spar asking those passing by to buy them cigarettes and alcohol as they are not old enough to go out and get it themselves.

You may also come across a bit of noise on your travels around Pontypool. This is the sound of the elder chav zooming around the place in a very old Citroen Saxo or similar with a big exhaust engine at the back (cause of the awful noise by the way!) with the car tricked out with bright colours or even lights underneath the car if they’re feeling extra creative! Be sure to cross the road with caution!

If anyone tells you that the South Wales Valleys is like the UK version of the Deep South in the USA, it is likely they are telling the truth. Pontypool is one of those places where everyone knows each other and know each other’s business (if you’re the type of person who likes their privacy, avoid this place at all costs!) Pontypool has been known for some inbred tendencies between families which is rather scary.¬†Also, the teenage pregnancy rate in this area is very high. Some kids as young as 12 can be seen pushing their little brats in a pram.

 

By: welshchavhater

Brynmawr , South east valleys , Wales

This article has: 6 Comments

Well what can be said about Brynmawr? it’s full of cretinous wildlife known as chavs. Congregation usually takes place around the old cinema in the town centre which hordes some of the most arrogant and downright wastes of space I have ever seen. Most days I have to walk past them in their gangs of between 10 and 30 with ages ranging from 13-20 to get to band practise , and most days I get the usual barrage of abuse , most commonly used are the words “Goff”,”Goffick”,”Sweaty” and “mosher” , Oh and the obligatory “Go and cut your wrists you emo” , Yes , because i wear jeans and a black hoodie and have a few tattoos I cut my wrists , well done you absolute waste of oxygen! I really do think these dole arses and inbred kids should be thrown out to sea and never ever rescued. It makes me sick to the stomach when I look at my wage slip to see that the tax im paying is supporting these layabouts to be able to hang around places like this and hurl abuse at honest , working citizens like myself. Be gone vile scum!!!

Abertillery – A Case Study

This article has: 12 Comments

Where to begin? A poor rundown former hive of industry which through no fault of its own is now a shuffling wreck of a place. BUT…remember folks that chav does not = poor, chav = scumbag. The place is teeming with spotty drugged-up teenagers whose idea of a good time is a litre of White Lightning up the multi-storey or snorting UHU round the back of the Snooker Club. Where are their parents? Down the pub, that`s where. And there`s plenty of them to choose from. Don`t expect a log fire and chicken in a basket though. Cheap beer in abundance with warm Pepsi for the alcoholics (ice is for poofs) and the chance to get your leg over with a local lovely for the price of a kebab. Women drink halves cos they`re ladies, but they drink twice as many to keep up with the lads.
Shopping opportunities are plentiful with the usual array of Gucci and Armani outlets. Only joking! It`s Poundland and Greggs all the way with a tattoo parlour round the corner and two bookies. Just what the poverty-stricken need. Two f**king betting shops! Thursday is market day with lots of stalls to choose from. The veg stall, the cheap card stall, the out-of-date Cadbury`s chocolate and mis-shapes stall and, er, that`s about it. We do however have three opticians – which is a bit posh, I`ll grant you – and a travel agency, but the only holiday deals you`ll see in the window involve flights to Magaluf and Tenerife. Sri Lanka are just words on the side of a Kwik Save packet ot tea bags. Want to dine out? We have about a dozen high quality eating experiences, but you`d better like kebabs and fried rice and these can be enjoyed al fresco. Don`t worry about careful disposal of your litter. Just throw it down and the nice council will pick it up three weeks later.
A few tips for the locals…1) Ladies – remember that Peacocks does not just sell ski pants. Bear in mind too that the bigger the belly the tighter the t-shirt is not good fashion sense. 2) Girls – if he loved you he wouldn`t ask you to. A bottle of cider and ten Bensons does not constitute a token of love. A baby is not an accessory. They are very hard work until they reach 5 years of age when can be sent out to play until midnight. 3) Boys – want to get into her knickers? Then buy a s**tty beat up old Corsa and use your giro money to buy lots of things to stick on it which will make it look like a sports car when it gets dark. Glue some blue lights on the underside and get yourself down the carpark where the local lasses will do anything for a ride what with the bus being so expensive. Don`t worry about insurance. That`s for stupid people. 4) Gentlemen – if you can`t afford it go without. Stealing is wrong. On the other hand you`ll be 20 stone and dead from liver failure by the time you`re forty so live a little.

Ebbw Vale, what a town

This article has: 3 Comments

Where should I start, Ebbw Vale is one of the chav capitols of the South Wales Valleys!!! For a town with a population of around 29000 there are only 3 pubs in the town centre and is subsequently a brewing pot for fights, and there are fights gallore!!!!! Every neanderthal in the town just seems to want to fight, with anything and everything, from picking fights with bins to fighting with the boys in the local kebab shops. The weapon of choice is noy a knife of even a gun but it is the humble half-councie (arf cownsee) or half of a council brick thrown with all the precision of a blind person playing darts after a night out on the pop.
Then there is the Multi-story carpark, it looks like it has just been on an episode of “Pimp my Ride UK”, the already awful looking building has been recently revamped, they painted the buiding white and then covered the place with bright green flourecent lighs!!!!!! All it needs now is a set of spinners and some hydrolics!!!
There is not much of a drug problem though, because everybody is on something so nobody gives a s**t, you can get whatever takes your fancy. You can tell who is doing what around the town by looking at their houses, due to the lack of jobs the only way you can make a living is either:
1) Deal drugs
2) Claim benefits
3) Both
It seems like everyone has got a bad back around the town, the carpark in the local Tesco has even got extra disabled parking spaces for the “sick” and their nice new free cars.
Ebbw Vale has recently gained a brothel, nice.

Continue reading “Ebbw Vale, what a town” »

newport south wales

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please take time to read the following statement. thank you

well, im quite angry with the chavs around at the moment. the hoodie loving fake gold bumming skunk smoking knobs that are dragging Newport downhill rapidly. Chavs (council house and violent for anybody who doesnt know) naturally hate “sweaties” or “moshers” , such as dog naturally hates cat. We seem to be gaining more and more chavs as the years go on, chav parents raising chav kids drowning in the amount of fake gold and fake “cabrini” or “nike” clothes, from the inshops or market. So far in year 11 i have been shown 6 chunks of Ganja follwed by ” you buying mate?” well “mate” for a start no and second im not your f**king mate. They like to go on the redgra or the roof to smoke these drugs, but as the redgra is currently out of service the roof is packed with them at break and lunch times oh and lesson times. They feel it is acceptable to come to a lesson 20 minutes late absolutly STINKING of the cigerette or spliff they have been smoking 5 minutes earlier and come up with a crap excuse for thier lateness. The following is a real excuse used by someone, no names “i went to get my passport miss”. Then there is the volcabulary. “Come yer” come “yer” this particular word is said how it is spelt, here. i will include some common mistakes by chavs.free= three fort = thought wa= what bu’un= button these are just some of the discraceful mistakes i hear around school. Now if you are wondering why perhaps i dont talk to you on msn, maybe it is because “U rite lyke diz n u mke suree nuffink iz splld rite n loks lyk it woz dun oN a fNe” if you write like this then i will not give you the dignity of a response.PLACES TO FIND CHAVS:

well, obviously mcdonalds sat by the “drive-thru” in the hoods and on thier s**tty bmx’s that normal people got rid of when they were 10 and realised they couldnt do “stunts on them”. The bus station, i suggest you do NOT go through this place alone day or night if you value life. As soon as you enter the place there is the strong smell of spliffs. i have witnessed a mugging, dealing of drugs, vandalism etc in this “building”.John Frost Square. this is where you will see the 14 year old mothers of three, because new look is there and shoe express is close, also the clock to keep themselves and thier children entertained on the hour every hour, for free. kingsway. inside the inshops buying a genuine “snike” jacket for ¬£1.50 or a nice pair of “lacroste” shoes. i have once been offered ecstacy in there. or outside/inside argos and gilesports.any council estate in newport. bettws and broadmead park particulaly. if you are in broadmead in a council/ white transit van and manage to get out alive you are an extremely lucky person as i discovered while on work expreience.WAYS TO IDENTIFY A CHAV.1. rediculously large earrings.2. 5 or more “gold” chains at least 2 of which sporting a large ragdoll pendant or a clown.3. obviosly the hoodie.4. trousers tucked into socks constantly.
5. hands constantly down the trousers of said chav
6.a cigerette behind the ear
7. a cigerette in the mouth8. a cigerette in the hand 8. a spliff in any of the above places.
10. baseball cap 11. poundland bags in thier hands.
<12.they carry a knife everywhere
burberry, enough said 14.they are recieving fathers/mothers day cards before thier 13th birthday 15. walk with a constant limp 16. they ask you for 20p for the bus 17 they are drunk at 8:30 in the morning. 18. you make a fake spliff for a laugh and they tell you you have done it wrong 19. they insist 50 cent is “the man20. they have all this colour name s**te on msn. 21. they have conversations on their names signing in and out continously. eg . “OMFG!!! no i nevaa :O wa u on bout chant/cristal/chardonnay”. 22. they can make a weapon out of almost anything, eg. paperclip, shoelace. around about it let me know if i have missed anything. thanks for your time kids. bye!.