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Archive for the ‘Somerset’ Category


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Right then, where to begin. By being neatly situated in the arse end of nowhere so we get the scum from the outlying villages rolling in (Stoke, Martock, Tintinhull, im looking at you all) and by being a town where all there is to do is grow old and by cheap cider, its  a perfect place for scum to flourish. Its hard to put your finger on exactly whats wrong with Yeovil, but its fair to say its all gone to s**t, just glancing at the local papers “Man beaten with own crutch” “11 year old glassed in the face,” it just makes you morbidly depressed when you open the curtains and realise you still live in Yeovil. Ive been called a filthy c**t and had eggs thrown at me just for trying to walk past a group of them, weird thing is that no-one is surprised by it any more. I found three of them near paralytic at the bus station just after midday, its a classy place, but this has been an issue for so long that its just accepted as “the yeovil way.” Its a problem that doesnt look like being solved anytime soon either, over christmas there was a police drive to stop large gangs of them forming over the St Johns side of town, and all things considered it was a resounding success, but the drive was stopped midway through January, and now im “proud” to say that the problems back. Its not as if there are problems relatively confined to one place, it seems to be all over the town, Westfield, Abbey Manor, College Green, Goldcroft, West Hendford, Chelston Avenue, Southville, Hendford, Cavalier Way not forgetting to mention all of the town centre (notably the beach) and every single park and patch of green in this god forsaken hell hole. Quite a reasonable plan is to wait for Sportsworld to reach its busiest, lock the doors, let them fight it out then call it natural selection. The Yeovil gene pool needs a little chlorine.


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Minehead – Chav resort par excellence

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Minehead on the West Scumerset coast, home of Butlins…need I say more? The dreary seafront and second rate bars and pubs contain a heady mix of imported holidaying cash strapped Chavs – usually arriving with fat-family in tow and local homegrown small town Chav with a few rural village Chav’s thrown in to the melting pot. Everything about the place is arse-end-of-nowhere pikesville. Let’s hope the wind is blowing in the right direction when Hinckley Point Nuclear Powerstation goes t*ts up!

Chard. The town where the garbage men make deliveries.

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I might only be a tractor driver but I got a computer in me cab now so I thought I would tell you about my local town. Chard used to be a right good old place. you could ave a proper night out for a fiver at the rugby club and then get yer end away with some tart from Henson Park you grabbed upstairs at the George. Appy days. All changed now ‘course. Towns full of bloody foreiners aint it? Portugese and them poles. Would’nt mind so much but the bastards only ever bring their ugly women over ere. They must keep all the pretty ones back ‘ome. They can’t all be as ugly as the ones they lets over ‘ere can they? Chard ad more’n it’s fair share of Chavs before the immigrants come over to work at Oscar Meyers and Hygrade (Thats a point. Ow come now Hygrades shut down they aint buggered off again? ). There’s more chavs per paving slab up and down Fore street and High street than you will see in any place in the country. Difference ere is its like the united nations of chavdom. Traccies, trainers, spray tans, Agos’s three for a fiver gold bling and thats the geezers ! Needs the united nations to keep the peace ere too. No one comes to Chard after dark, even the drongos from Yeovil wont venture out ere. Stupid as they are they aint that crazy. If you go to Accident and Emergency in Taunton any weekend night you caan bet alf of em comes from Chard. It’s a bad mean town full of ugly men and even uglier women!

Chard should qualify for some sort of award as the roughest town in west country, probably the country. We had some geordie contractors staying here a few weeks ago, they pissed off early because there were too many fights for their liking and one got threatened with a bottle by a local slapper. And they came from bleeding Gateshead !

So if you take my advice you want to programme your Sat Nav so that it never ever takes you anywhere near Chard. Best bet is to stay on The M5 and keep well away.


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What a s**t hole Yeovil is. on dicovering this website i was surprised nobody had added an entry on yeovil previously. I live just outside yeovil and it tends to be the only place that is very close to go out and get pissed. every where else locally isnt exactly local.  Yeovil used to have 3 clubs. The core which changed to lounge and then Dukes which is what it had been called before it was called The core. Dont ask me why they keep changin it. there was also Le Jardin which is closed, which is a shame cuz that was the biggest and best club out of the three and finally there is Chicago rock which is ok if you cannot pull anyone your own age and have to aim older, (and i mean older, like at least 40 plus) or your 40 plus single person that’s trying too hard to re-live their youth.  Dukes as it is now called is probably the worst club in the south of england if not the whole of the UK! However it is ok if you like fighting or your a Chav which everyone tends to be in dukes. usually they do both. any way come to Yeovil its great!