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Archive for the ‘Kent’ Category

Ashford

This article has: 1 Comment

A town in South East England where the bling people wear is actually Argos, 4ct yellow-coated lead and the hoop earrings are so big that people’s ears look like those of the Yanomami Indians who stretch them for traditional purposes. I grew up here and am mentally scarred for life by the sheer amount of shell suits and Fila tracksuits with tummies poking out from under the jackets.
The town centre has always been littered with empty shops and the ones that are filled are either 99p shops, mobile phone shops, charity shops or discount shoe shops. Even Pizza hut has fled the town centre. The town has two Argos’s (says it all really).
Most teenage girls are spotted pushing prams around with a fag in one hand and a bottle of Lambrusco in the other and there are many 35 year old grannies too. It’s not uncommon to have aunties or uncles actually younger than yourself …
The factory outlet shopping centre, consisting of over 100 shops sell dross that rest of the UK population refused to buy the previous 10 years, but Ashfordians come flooding in at weekends to buy the passé sportswear, cracked ceramics and £10 pairs of discount Kickers.
There are many supermarkets selling Ashford’s favourite meals; McCains Microchips, turkey twizzlers and chicken nuggets – all rounded off with a glass of Sunny Delight or Blue Nun.
There is however a posh area too, served by the Waitrose supermarket but last time I visited there were only people in black-lycra leggings pushing prams around.
Weekend activities consist of visiting boot fairs, kids birthday parties at McDonalds and going out to get bladdered in the evening. Monday mornings are spent queuing up to sign on.

the truth of Faversham/Chavasham

This article has: 2 Comments

I’ve always lived in faversham and i can say it is a s**t hole, but i honestly love it. whats a town with out a bit of banter, fighting, drinking and drugs? -a very boring one. a few stabbings and some vandalism are faversham, and were not ‘chavs’ maybe were comftable wearing trakies and a polo with a hoodie and a burbry coat with a pair of trainers? a night up rec is what we know as a good night out with a couple bottles of cider, and a bit of vodka. most teenagers in faversham do smoke, and its not to be ‘cool’ its something they want to do.

most the faversham lot are dirty fighters and often usally use knuckle dusters or baseball bats espically when fighting other towns, mosty sittingbourne, faversham and sittingbourne have always been on thin ice and every now and then it cracks and it goes on for a couple if months fav lot going sittingbourne and fighting then sittingbourne lot comeing fav, but it usally calms down a bit for a while.

faversham fair is the worst for fights, weve already had some companies tell us they aint coming back because of fights, and faversham not being able to get the fair out coz of the amount of money we need to get security.

the abbey school is one of two secondarys in faversham, the other is qe, wich half of its population dont even come from faversham as its a grammer school and most of faversham are not clever enough, so fall back on abbey. all smokers at abbey go up field to have a fag at lunch and break, and the person with out the fag has to ‘keep dog’ incase a teacher is seen, also students smoke weed around the back of the school. students often bunk lessons to go town or just have a stroll from block to block.

main ‘estates’ in faversham where the ‘dodgy chavs’ are from

OSPRINGE

BYSING

LOVELANE

TOWN CENTRE

NORTH PRESTON

MAKNADE

a beautiful song about faversham-

and another

By: sophie

Chatham, Kent. Aka Chavham

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                        Chatham A.K.A Chavham

When people think of Chatham you think of the Dockyard or something associated with naval ships. Now days it isn’t, it is nowadays embarrassing, not safe for children, full of crime. It may not have as much crime as major cities do but they are bad. What you see is a load of chavs hanging around the job centre, the Pentagon shopping centre, the high street itself. You may think they just harmless but they are not, you see people giving you looks that make you think you would get mugged by a non-intelligent chav. They normally ask you “do you have a lighter?”  if you have a lighter just say “no I’m sorry I don’t have one.” If they don’t like it what would they do? Most likely nothing as of that they are cowards, they do sometimes want to start picking fights or want to beat the s*** out of you for no reason, I should know because I had 2 chavs running after me and a friend just because we were commenting on about how we didn’t see people sitting on the escalators often. They weren’t that smart after picking a fight with security guards in the Pentagon as of that I think they got banned from setting foot in the Pentagon which no surprise they got caught on camera. 

                       

 

 

 

The origin of Chavs

Chavs originally came from Chatham, they were nicked named “Chatham chavs” in the 1970′s, forget what the media think the origin was from because they are wrong. I may not of been from the 70′s but I know it started off as a “trend” in a school which I think it was either Chatham South ( BORA aka the Bishop of Rochester, stupid name for a school I know) or Chatham grammar school for girls. If I went back in time I would have stopped that from happening but unfortunately that wouldn’t work out to well.

 

               

 What I think of Chatham 

 

I think Chatham in general need more police officers, not only just because of immigration influx it’s all so because of trouble makers of all ages. I’m personally sick of anti-social behaviour, it make young people look bad and been protrude by the media that all young people are trouble making scum, I don’t believe all of us are, we just normal people that want to get on in life. They need to speak proper English not gobberdy goop s*** that they call slang. They would get a lot further in life if they did and not only that they could get theirselfs a job, a better life not causing crime. Their music is just attorshous ( to me anyway) the clothing makes girls look slutty and easy prey, and the boys dress stupidly and are like wannabe gangsters. I think if you put the male chavs in the same room as the Russian Mafia they would crap their pants and whimper like a baby. They also drink and smoke under the age of 18 and they think it’s cool, well it doesn’t because it would damage their health’s, their so called “swag” ugly would I shouldn’t of used it but oh well. What they should do is just dress up like a proper human being, not act what they are not, smell better and speak proper English and listen to something decent.

 

By: Steve M

Ramsgate – the town of no hope

This article has: 7 Comments

Ramsgate is one of those contradictions that sociologists may find fertile ground for their studies. On the face of it, it’s a pleasant town in a rather fortunate location on the coast of Kent. What’s more, it boasts some pretty impressive architecture and, if remote is your kind of thing, then it may be the finished article for some. That is, as long as the population is utterly ignored.

Ah, the population of Ramsgate. Let me sum it up by numbers; 70% underclass – forget the ‘fashion’, we’re talking mental underclass. Insular, small-minded, abjectly racist (openly, too), so far removed from any kind of mental stimulation to resemble the sort of fauna that festers, rather than thrives. Hopeless in the way of careers and even self-satisfaction unless it involves binge drinking and sexual contact with strangers, usually passed around groups of ‘mates’, sometimes within the same family nucleus (due to a disgraceful lack of resources in the area – more on the local ‘ruling class’ shortly…). 20% decent. However, this is entirely made up of 50+ on their way out and young bright things usually on the way to somewhere else to develop their talents. 10% enriched through crime or dodgy ‘business’.

The ‘ruling class’ is not much better; career politicians with dirty backgrounds (Thanet Council would be put to shame by banana dictatorships) or corrupt local ‘tycoons’ swooning around in their brand new cars with cocaine-snorting underlings, offsprings and often spouses.

Avoid, avoid, avoid.

By: Peter

MAIDSTONE, CHAV IN ITS PUREST FORM

This article has: 14 Comments

Let me start by saying there are two forms of the word chav. The word used by middle and upper class people as an attack and derogatory misrepresentation of all working class people (which is wrong) and the second is the one used to describe a person of low intelligence, who wears stereotypical chav clothes and is heading nowhere in their pathetic, wasteful existence. I am a working class person and i will be talking about the latter which is the true representation of the word chav.

 

Everywhere in Britain is full of chavs and decent people but Maidstone has about 50 chavs for every decent intelligent person and these are chavs in the purest most unadulterated form. It’s like Scientists decided to create the ultimate ‘perfect’ chav but something went wrong and it escaped from the labratory and has spread all over maidstone. Maidstone chavs spend their days floating between Brenchley memorial gardens drinking cheap cider and smoking s**t weed, strolling through the mall to shoplift some baby clothes or Sainsburys to steal some food if they’re hungry. When they need a rest they loiter outside mcdonalds, burger king or kfc and if they want a bit of exercise then they take a brisk walk to mote park to mug someone or maybe just kick the s**t out of them (or both). When night descends they will try and get into some clubs, usualy unsuccesfully because they’re dressed like twats but on the off chance they do get in somewhere then it’s chicago’s to grab a granny and then get chucked out for fighting or muggs to get chucked out for being to pissed and fighting. They don’t have a lot of options since liquid and envy and jumpin jaks closed down. Jaks which was a haven for chav scum. The chavs night out starts with some pre drinks of cheap vodka they stole from sainsburys or maybe a bit of s**t, highly cut cocaine. They then go to a club, get pissed as quickly as possible, have an arguemnt with their other half, get more pissed, get chucked out and then start a fight with an innocent passer by. On a good night when they get arrested they have a lovely room all to themselves for the night , a meal in the morning and even get a free ride to the police station by the very generous policeman (although they always have to sit in the back). The downside is this bed and brekfast is very expensive, usually £80 but that’s fine . . .no it really does say FINE right after £80 on the little slip of paper that nice mr policeman gives you in the morning before he sends you on your way, and you can pay it in installments. BARGAIN.

 

The maidstone chav ensemble consists of reebok classics or knock off nike air max. tracksuit bottoms and a hoody and baseball cap usually by nike, addidas, mckenzie etc. JJB and JD Sports has a wide selection to shoplift from. The more stylish chav usually has their tracksuit bottoms tucked into their socks. They either have a joint, a drink or fag in one hand. The chav vocabulary consists of “chore” (steal) “gavvers” (police) and “shore nuff mush” (?????). Their vocabulary is ironic as this is traveller slang, which is ironic because none of them are f**king travellers. Most poeple aspire to better themselves and make money and be happy. The average maidstone chav just aspires to be a traveller, and god help you if you ever get talking to one who has got some traveller in them. They won’t shut the f**k up about their stupid ‘traveller pride’ and for some reason think having traveller in them makes them hard, and it’s always about 10 times removed from them. If your hanging around outside a shop in maidstone wearing a tracksuit bragging about some innocent bloke you kicked the s**t out of when you was pissed last night then you’re not hard, you’re a f**king idiot and it will take more than great aunt chardonnay having a one night stand with a traveller in 1912 to change that.

 

So to wrap this up a maidstone chav is unique like no other. They actually use words like BRAP, they think they’re hard although they’ve never done anything to warrant this they just believe this because they live in park wood or shepway (that’s right, not syria of afghanistan or some f**king hood in L.A . . . . park wood, maidstone) The female maidstone chav has one goal in life which is to have a baby so they can get their free council house and benefits and proudly update their facebook status to ‘full time mommy’. The only full time their committed to is trying full time to figure out who the f**king father is. There are some decent people in maidstone but they are rare. By sheer law of averages you will one day have a run in with one of these ferral, misguided twats and it won’t be pleasent. You’ve never encountered a chav until you’ve encountered a maidstone chav, SHORE NUFF!

By: Jessie M

Admin: Great opening paragraph, I’ll add ‘Owen Jones’ to the keywords! I used to be a frequent visitor to Maidstone and can confirm this is a true and accurate portrayal of Kent’s county town. All I can add is that ‘the mall’ in this article is not an Americanised generic term of ‘Shopping Centre’ but the new name for what was called The Chequers Centre, where you are most likely to encounter the true Maidstone chav, not Fremlin Walk. I can also say, given my advanced chav linguistics training, that “shore nuff mush”, literally translates to “sure enough mate” in vernacular slag speech. “Mush/Mushdies” being a traveller synonyms for “mate/mates”. Hope this helps.