Newton Aycliffe

For no other reason than it is Newton Aycliffe. Popular **** haunts include ARGOS, GREEGS and anywhere near the DANDY CART pub. Its full of thick pigs, whose highlight of the week include getting on the number 15 and flocking in droves to BOYES dept store in Darlo and whipering outside M&S crying and wishing […]

Read More… from Newton Aycliffe

Darlington, full of old men who still think they’re 20 but are closer to 50

Living in Darlington, County Durham

A small market dwelling to big to be a village to small for a town. A dwelling full of old men who still think there 20 but are closer to 50. Woman who think the men are tough and hard because they can shout and swear in drink. Nice men who just go about there […]

Read More… from Darlington, full of old men who still think they’re 20 but are closer to 50

Bishop Auckland

Bishop Auckland. A hideous and hell-like place. Or an amazing scientific site from which to study the bizzare breed of creature known as – the ****. {Known here as “Charver” or “Townie”}. See it as you will. As a person who has lived, or rather endured life, here all of my ****-ridden years, I prefer […]

Read More… from Bishop Auckland

Durham

Not strictly a town, but a small city of **** heaven. The bus station is likely your first stop on your tour, and any time, day or night you will find fine specimins of **** for your viewing displeasure. Typical genus include – “1 Punch tale ****” – The **** who invariably leans against the […]

Read More… from Durham

Words fail me when it comes to describe Peterlee

Living in Peterlee, County Durham

Peterlee is wonderful. Words fail me when it comes to describe Peterlee. Affectionately known as ‘Mexico City’ because of the avant-garde architecture on the housing estates. Every single house has a sky dish bolted on the side. None works legitimately, everyone is on the fiddle/thieve/drug dealing. You can get virtually anything you want in this […]

Read More… from Words fail me when it comes to describe Peterlee

Darlington

Oh, how nice Darlington used to be. The Goths and Moshers used to have a quiet life. Now “Darlo” is probably one of the biggest ****-holes in the North East. High Row, Greg’s, Queen’s Street and “The Graveyard” are a few of the **** hotspots in the town centre, but to be honest, the buggers […]

Read More… from Darlington