Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in United Kingdom, West Midlands, Worcestershire

Bromsgrove….a little town on the outskirts of birmingham, infested with the “chav scum” that makes up over half of it’s population. Here the chavs are either of one extreme or the other. One extreme being they are seven year old wannabe chavs, smoking and drinking, swearing at any unexpecting member of the public who is not a chav (which is a minority) or forty year old former chavs trying to relive their youth.

The “place to be” if you are a chav is McDonalds, either working there or “chillin” in your spare time, this is where the chav population of Bromsgrove tends to go. Hanging around in massive groups, blocking pavements and in general making Bromsgrove look like even more of a s**t hole than it already is.

However most Chavs spend their time driving around the town centre over and over again, bromgrove has a pathetic excuse for a town centre so therefore it doesn’t take long. driving around and around, showing off their “wheels”, beeping their horns everytime they see a “fitt” chavette. In reality their cars go no more than 20 mph, weighed down by the spoilers, alloy wheels, and assortment of bumper stickers, not forgeting the safty feature of not being able to close their doors! Entertaing the whole of bromsgrove with the vast array of dance music, blasting out of their N registration car, sticking their heads out of the windows, banging their heads along to the “crazy” rhythm.

Nightlife (if you can call it that) revolves mainly around the club Euphoria. Passing by this “club” (about the size of a top floor of a terraced house) you are likly to see a long line of twelve year old chavettes in their “clothes”. These clothes, fail to cover up the rolls of bright white fat, blinding innocent victims as they pass. Asses and boobs hanging out in the attempt to look eighteen. When in relality all they need to do is flash the security guards and their in. These fashion disaters designed to attract a member of the opposite sex (basically a chav).

A typical bromsgrovians vocabulary (most typical Bromsgrovians being chavs) consists of no more than four letter words, thrown togather in an unreconisable syntax, with the odd “like” and “ennit” embedded amongest the utter crap that escapes from their mouths. All in a failing attempt to sound clever.

There is one place in bromsgrove where you may take sanctity, this is bromsgrove school. A very respectable priavte school, untouched by the forces of chavs. If a chav even comes within a thirty mile radius, i’m sure they would think twice about it, with an army of guys with their baseball bats coming to “sort em out”.

Bromsgrove is a boring town. The only thing that makes it interessting is the fact that you can laugh at all the chavs. Overall the world would be a better place without chavs let alone Bromsgrove.


Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in United Kingdom, West Midlands, Worcestershire

What can be said about Bromsgrove? Well, may I start by describing to you the wonderful facilities that this fair town offers.

I will first start with the amazing eating facilities, the Chavs number one choice has to be the widely renowned McDonalds, and of course where would the town be without it’s chippies?! Lucky for us the Chavs have a choice on where to fill them selves with grease and processed spam, there is Rajitani’s or Ocean’s. The more cultured Chav may venture into one of the five Chinese take-aways, or if feeling up for an ‘eat and run’ they could use one of the three Balti’s.

I feel I have not yet touched upon McDonalds enough. Anyone who has ever ventured into the establishment may have noticed that the place is teeming with the giant goldhooped-clad beggars. This is because McDonalds has successfully created an environment for the Chavs to feel secure in, it has no taste in its decoration (the tackiness is actually attractive to a Chav), the music played is only from the last months top 10 (if a Chav hears music that they have not been previously told to like it upsets them, individuality is a concept that scares them) and let us not forget the food that is designed to make you morbidly fat (I personally like the occasional McDonalds but the Chavs being their 24/7 must be related to Britain’s obesity problems).

Now a Chav has filled their grotesquely large stomachs with food they can head off for “night on the town”. This can either mean sitting around in one of the many industrial back alleys with a bottle of Asda’s cider, or a Chav can really have some fun and head to Bromsgrove’s nightclub EUPHORIA. This is a wonderful club where the security is very tight (an 11 year old Chav may have issues getting in, but once past 13 it shouldn’t be an issue). I can only ponder what it might be like inside as I myself have not had the pleasure of going there.

Apart from clubbing and eating (and of course getting pregnant t claim more benefits) a Chavs favourite pass time would have to be shoplifting from the high street. With a peacocks, a new look (for the more classy chavette) and of course an Argos to get their bling.

I think that basically sums up the undercurrent of scum that makes up Bromsgrove. I would just like to point out that there are some poor normal people who live in Bromsgrove and have to share it with this Chavscum, to these people all I can say is that I can sympathise, I am stuck here too.

Continue reading “Bromsgrove” »