Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Dorset, United Kingdom

Bridport the historic twat town (it really says it on the sign on the way in) a town that has a bigger cover up rate than area 51. so it may be it says its a historic market town and the people are welcoming like a certain tv series on cbs reality called underbelly bridport has a underbelly a real dark one crime rate is higher than glasgow. and the famous curse of the chav is alive and kicking here.

You’ll need a chav translator as all you hear is “bruv bruv innit mush like bruv u wat fam wat u chattin mush” we have three types of chav first the common chav a pain in the ass for society for over a decade and start on you for no reason cuz der bored bruv the turf for these little s**ts is the bus station skilling and dr roberts close aka druggy bolervard then you have  the bit more money chino chavs who yankees flat peaks wear jumpers that were knitted by there nans smoke skunk and think they are better than you. the last chav is the agrichav or farmer chavs who turf up the countryside and are loved by the dorset wildlife trust and environment agency for greenlaning, dumping cow s**t into streams and burning tyres and bragg on about who has the best tractor oooooo arrrrrrr.

Next is the night life, come visit the world famous no.10 where you can get the friday night special of punch and a pint with the chavs starting on you with their 14 year old girl friend, swimming in the the vomit because half a pint is too much. Next we move over to h block, the famous drug den of this cesspool where fine herbs and hallucinogenics can be purchased with your hard earned job seekers or income support.

If you are looking to purchase clothing you’ll need the internet as all there is, are charity shops which you can get a saville row suit that someone died in or peacocks as a last resort. Cuisine is expensive and undercooked so bring a packed lunch if you are desperate. The town has nothing, businesses are closing down due to extortionate council rates. Venture 1 mile out of the town and you have the grotty sleazy wannbe skegness west bay, where the potent smell of chips & burgers from various food sheds (kiosks) that sell food you could get from iceland and the northern exposure appear in the summer months to park dean which is normally flooded and the owner needs to see a therapist.

Then you have jenson button wannabes in there crappy little 1.0l saxos thinking they are in fast and the furious, doing donuts on a mini roundabout and race in a car park that closes at 10 so they piss of to the the nearest business park and have nothing better to do than to raise insurance prices. Crime is rife, stabbings,rapes,suicides my mate was beaten up for no reason, dropping off some stuff to a mates house and the police do nothing as everything to them is a civil matter, or they cant be bother to do the paperwork. However they can scoff kebabs and arrest the wrong people. Like the mazda gt advert there is no alive in this town. I cannot wait to leave this hellhole and hope our estate agent gets us out far out of here and feel sorry for the people that move in.

By: josh w

  • Anonymous

    Just noticed some of the comments on here about this fantastically accurate description of Bridport. It’s the biggest s**t hole going. The person who wrote this isn’t actually in a ‘magna house’ but lived in a well presented owned house. I think north Korea should have tested their hydrogen bomb on Bridport, dropped it right on top of Bridport Kabab House!! I had lived in Bridport for 12 years, worst years of my life. I understand every town has a dark side, but this place if a f**king black hole!!

  • Celia

    please move away as fast as you can because you are obviously very short sighted and do not live in the Bridport that I know and love

  • Hazel the Hole

    Learn to write you cretinous peasant. Then do us all a favour and f**k off to Dorchester, or at least add to your crime statistics with a wingless dive off West Bay cliffs. In the interim sit quietly in your Magna financed damp hole and leave the internet alone.

  • conger

    Ahem Bbb, may I suggest Mr Pot meets Mrs Kettle?

  • liam

    you just sound like a kid who is mad at the world who has no friends, so you mad at the “chavs” cuz they aint interested in bein friends with you, is what ur making out pretty much

  • BS

    Can someone translate this for me please? Is it deliberately ironic that they decided to write their opinion in chav?…

  • richard benford

    I suggest you check the crime rates . The Bridport crime rate is low. To say it has a higher crime rate than Glasgow is absurd. To suggest such a thing rather shows that you have very little grasp on reality.

  • Bbb

    When the stuck up person that wrote this learns how to write and punctuate sentences in full, i may actually listen to them.

  • dorset blind retards

    You people are blind idiots the town is like the dinosaurs exstinct.

  • Bridders Boy

    My friend from Dorchester remarked just the other day how violent and full of chavs Dorch’ is, whereas in Bridport he meets nice people, has a nice time, and makes a nice living – NOT off the State!

  • Smirsh

    This sounds like the bitter rant of a underachieving little turd. I do hope “their estate agent” does manage to get them out of Dorset – in reality this is more likely to be Magna housing swap. I hope whoever wrote this is under 12, otherwise there is no excuse for the poor quality of the writing.

  • Dorset darling

    You’re eager to move far away from Bridport? Well, that’s one of the inarticulate chavs removed already then. Since there can be very few anyway in this charming town, we’re halfway to solving the so-called ‘problem’.

  • Belly

    An articulate and coherent description, said no one, ever.