Birmingham

Despite birmingham adding the bullring and trying to big birmingham as possible there are still many (too many!) **** hot spots ..

Billesley and Basallheath are the wost in my opinion. You walk down the main road past all the pound shops etc and your bound to see a kev. In birmingham their constantly saying ‘easy’ and ‘standard’ the older ***** who drive (probably with out a drivers licence and in a stolen car!) drive round with their windows full down with their trashy garage , rnb **** music blasting out with the base pumping. And they often slow down next to **** girls underdressed saying “eaaaazy” do anyone know what that means? because i dont!

Theres even **** couple (no i dont know them personally) who have called their children notsa alliv and ronaldo (notsa alliv is aston villa backwards!) i feel so sorry for those kids later in life…

How grim is your Postcode?

They usually hang around mcdonalds asking random people for cigarettes and when they rarely have some , they have the cheapest , nastiest ciggarettes soveriegn.

They wear nike alot and always have bandanas tied round their chin .. and a cap lots of ‘gold’ chains known a ‘bling’ . The girls wear hoops that are HUGE and constantly chew chewing gum and wearing tight tracksuit bottoms playing the music on their phones out loud in the street…
***** all seem to have the same huuge phone , i think its a nec 3 phone ******* around their necks.

If you look at a **** for too long they shout ‘ why iz ya sharkin me ,ya dikhed’ which amuses me because they just sound like idiots.

Birmingham will always be chavy despite the councils best attempts .. which is annoying for me seeing as i have just escaped Redditch the worst town of ***** and now birminghams **** community is getting bigger and ruder!

Birmingham

A city blighted by the ****** invasion of T K Maxx-kitted ******* that are spawning the next generation of clown pendant-wearing petty thieves before our eyes. Usually on a park bench, or one of the few grass verges not full of Bull Terrier ****. Outside McDonalds is the obvious favourite spot, blocking access to the shopping centre by ambling across to their hoop-ringed ******** girlfriend (12-14 is the favoured age), who are busily sharing a *** ponced from an unwitting passer-by.

It’s interesting that previous links have attempted to single out certain parts of the Birmingham area as somehow Chavvier than others. Anyone that’s gone within three miles of the city centre knows that Brum is now awash with the little feckers and the city centre is now a hotzone that could be considered the centre of an Ebola-like epidemic and wiped from the map with a nuclear blast.

I sympathise with Birmingham council, who have gone to great lengths to modernise the city and invested massive amounts in ripping down eyesores and replacing them with respectable places. Aston Newtown remains the prime example. Having ripped down an entire district of ***** ******** housing and replaced it with brand new flats, a leisure centre and other amenities that could better the lives of the local community, they then made the fatal mistake of moving the ****** ******** that screwed it up in the first place back in there.

How grim is your Postcode?

The result: within six months it was a graffiti-strewn, chavtastic wet dream where local youths could “batter” a defenceless bus-stop, or fight a grandma, to their heart’s content. And the uniform of choice is just about the same as everyone else, a fading fake Burberry cap, unwashed white leisure wear with egg and ketchup stains and brown, broken teeth.

As well as asking for **** and drugs in some mangled Cockney voice with Black Country undercurrent, their favourite ploy in Birmingham is to ask for a contribution towards their bus fare back to Handsworth/Perry Barr or whatever other ********* borstal they live. And in the space of three seconds you can turn from their ‘bruv’, into the biggest soft, gay **** alive who clearly needs ‘battering’.

But just keep walking and they will simply start on someone else like those Dawn of the Dead ******* zombies that only attack the closest living human being. When they’ve got their £1.50 the game truly begins: finding a shopkeeper that will serve them some prime ***** juice that they buy according to alcohol content per penny spent.

And the new Bullring shopping centre might be a paragon of design that has won plaudits round Europe, but it only looks good when it’s closed. The rest of the time it’s full of ***** shoplifting **** looking at clothes they can’t afford but can possibly slip into the bag they brought with them from home.

This is a city overflowing with Cash Converters, Cash Generators and those shops that cash cheques because the older ***** cannot wait the four days for it to clear, or when it does it will simply be swallowed by the ******* huge overdraft the bank manager has given them to spend on Reebok Classics and Lambert & Butlers.

And nothing sums up Birmingham better than Perry Barr’s One-Stop shopping centre, next to the ***** greyhound racing track. Who’d have thought T K Maxx, Poundstretcher, Poundland and an indoor market could co-exist so closely: anybody that’s been to Birmingham probably…