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Biggleswade

This article has: 7 Comments

A town with 1 claim to fame:
they make Greene King ales there
I have to drive through the place every morning and Im frequently stunned by the lack of suitable genetic material in the locals.
Not only do baseball caps seem to be MANDATORY but there seems to be a big craze for piggy eyes and freakishly short arms.
Due to a lack of ANYTHING discernably interesting in the place the locals seem to have devolved into mid 1800′s Ku Klux Klan members, completely paranoid about anyone that doesnt seem to fit in with their Royston Vaseyish attitude to the outside world.

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  • Chris Brady

    I’ve lived here for 17 years and apart from being robbed by the pikeys from Potton actually quite like the place. Sure in-breeding is rife …. buy a steel guitar and play some good old country blues. That’ll sort things.

    On the in-breeding front notice how many of the residents are left-handed. It’s scary. 3 employees at Lloyds chemists served me and had to fill out forms … all Lefties. And that’s just one shop. God knows what goes on in the market place. Horse meat, yes please as I have no clue what you’re offering me.

    The kids all speak in a crap Jamaican accent but you’ll find that anywhere. They believe it is “cool”. It isn’t and won’t get them jobs when they “grow up”. We can’t all be imaginary rural rappers …hey ho.

  • Aaron

    I live in Biggleswade (i am embarised to admit) it has a few minor claims to fame (from its past) such as the inventor of the modern bicycle and tractor. But at present, it’s inhabitance are as state above (maybe 80-90%) or those either preparing/waiting to leave or have given up hope of such. The town has reached such a point where it is wholey unimportant. Not even terrible enough to be infamous: Laying in a horrible culutural and geographic no mans land just on the edge of commuter travel making it too expensive to slum but too lathargic for any significant investor to consider, with its farming undoubtly suffering with all of Englands farms. I would go into more detail and mention the people in power but i must retire for the night. Please excuse if a little incoherent i am typing this late after a long day at work (no i do not work in Bigglewade incase you wonder). Good night all.

  • nvxmcbzR

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  • Andy

    Biggleswade is a rather lovely little town. We have a wide range of barbers and alot of pubs which pleases the locals we are far more advanced than most little towns as we are’nt all inbred unlike are neighbours sandy and potton where everyone is inbred.

  • richie1

    just moved here, and have to ask why much of the youth here have to speak in urbanised ebonic slang when they clearly live in the country side surrounded by cow sh*t, morris dancers and enough ale to merit the construction of an ark?

  • xxblondie90xx

    fuk off man BIGGLESWADE ROX LOL
    xgiddzzyyx

    • Aaron

      Was your message ment Ironnically?