Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in North East, Northumberland, United Kingdom

This innocent, boring little town would, to most eyes appear to be a fairly lame tourist haven. Unfortunately, as in most similiar towns, exists a chav fraternity plumbing the depths of humanity.

Prior Park, Highfields and Highcliff are the major centres of degeneration. Surveys reveal that a casual stroll through any of these slums results in approximately 2.5 muggings and a stream of tobacco flavoured gobshite.

The Berwick Chavs still havent quite mastered many of the life techniques known to, say, bricks, such as patience. Only small amounts of cheapass Argos bling can be found, unusually. Exam results are minimal testimony to their lack of ability in an area known as “intelligence”. Any person fluent in english (known locally as “nerds”) can run verbal circles around the brain-cell deficient morons, although this has the added effect of making them particularly volatile. Use baseball bat to reverse said effect.